Good pants to wear in Nature. Pants that look like Nature. A Cracking Trackie. A Touchline Masterclass. Crowds of Cringe.

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GARM OF THE WEEK

Climbing Pants

The Menswear Internet was abuzz this week about climbing pants. First, an SF tech bro proclaimed Gramicci’s Loose Taper pant the best one for fathers. This guy even offered to cop You a pair to prove it (as long as you’re a San Francisco father of a child under age 4, for some reason). He’s probably right considering Gramicci’s goated status, but we haven’t field tested these particular makeups. The classic G-Pant is our go-to, but we have been meaning to branch out with our next purchase. For those who don’t fit the criteria for the free pair and/or don’t want to be beholden to some Doofus, we suggest being an Adult and scooping your own pair, as is the wonderful adventure of Dressing. If you do, get them from the homie Wes at Understory.

Anyway, next came a MenswearSlop account proclaiming Gramicci as an originator of modern streetwear. Much discussion was had but the Real Shit was spoken by The Cool Dad Andrew who pointed out that they didn’t wade into streetwear until they were acquired by a Japanese conglomerate in 2017. But by all accounts they did invent the climbing pant as we know it, taking the heavyweight surplus styles climbers were wearing at the time and adding key innovations like built-in web belt and gusseted crotch. As we said, we wear the classic G-Pant more than any other pant in our arsenal.

Credit where it’s due: there’s no shortage of Really Great climbing pants that give the G-Pant a run for its money. Here are a few of our favorites:

Chilliwack Pant by Kavu

Up the coast from Gramicci’s California basecamp, KAVU sprang up in Seattle in the 90s. They made their name with The Strapcap before branching out to other garms. The Chilliwack has all the features of a climbing pant: 10oz organic cotton canvas, built-in web belt, and a gusseted crotch. Their take adds Big Ass Pockets on both sides on some Symmetrical Shit. They’re cavernous enough to stash anything and everything and whip it out on a dime. In a surprising twist, the Chilliwack Shorts actually predated the pants, and are truly an excellent choice for warm temps.

MP-107 Foraging Pant by Earth\Studies

Portland, OR is home to some of the world’s most incredible scenery and natural wonder. It’s no surprise that it’s also home to one of the world’s foremost innovators in Garms for Exploring Incredible Scenery and Natural Wonder. As they tell it, “Earth\Studies products serve as tools for people to explore their world with curiosity, creativity and expression.” Their “tools” are technical outdoor garms made with a focus on natural materials and ethical manufacturing. Brandon Scott Herrell, the Soldier behind Earth\Studies, is creating something akin to if Errolson Hugh was born and raised in the woods of the Pacific Northwest. The Foraging Pant spices up a climbing pant silhouette by adding a spectacular assortment of pockets and reinforced knee panels made of ripstop. Perfect abrasion resistance for anything you want to do in the field, from foraging to skateboarding to a stroll around the park. Thoughtful and clever detailing, like conveniently located accessory loops and utility pockets, is one of countless things that’s made Earth\Studies one of the most exciting garm producers out right now.

Salathe NC Straight Pant by Pilgrim Surf & Supply

We tend to stay away from anything in the vicinity of Surf Culture. Most surf brands are either bring Island Vibes or California Surf Nazi vibes. Pilgrim Surf & Supply brings a Brooklyn Tuffness to the waves that stands out from the rest, at times pushing surfing to the back and exploring other ways we navigate the natural environment in pursuit of oneness with nature (e.g. Gorpy Outdoor Shit for Hiking or Chilling or Whatever!). Their in-house garms are Really Cracking, and the Salathe pant is a major standout. They offer their take on the classic climbing pant in a wide variety of materials and a few different styles. The Salathe is kind of a mashup of The Greats, mixing straightforward patch pockets on the front and deep U-shaped pockets on the back ala KAVU’s Chilliwack. Water-repellent ripstop on this particular version is Extra Tuff.

OTHER GOOD GARMS

Warm-Up Trackie Top by Statue

Wonderful things are happening in DC once you look beyond all fascist things that are also happening in DC. The Carpet Habibis continue one-upping themselves. Archives, the new shop in town, is focused on building community and preserving The District’s immense legacy in skateboarding. And Statue is making Banging Garms in addition to skate media excellence. We’re always partial to a track top, and even more so if it’s called a ‘trackie’ as they say on the other side of the pond. Statue’s DC-to-London take on the trackie boasts freaky piping, zipper pockets, and a two-tone colorup in black and olive to match with just about any fit you want to throw together. We can’t quite figure out the Drogba 2010 reference to this colorway, but any garm inspired by The King is, as they say in London, right up our street.

Piano Trap Carpenter Pants by Theories

Our wardrobe is seriously lacking in lightweight pants. Shorts, too, for that matter. We like Heavyweight Shit. Clothes that feel like a weighted vest. We like Hard Clothes. Garms that scrape us up a little bit. We are deep in the process of softening our mind and perspective through rigorous therapy and mental wellness activities, and we should also take this time to soften our wardrobe a bit. Theories dropped these crackin’ carpenters as if they were reading our mind. They’re constructed from lightweight cotton canvas with a custom camo pattern that’s clean and subtle. Back by popular demand, these jawns probably won’t last long. Cop now and stay cool as the streets heat up!

SOLDIER OF THE WEEK

Vincent Kompany

Bayern beat Real Madrid 2-1 in the first leg of their Champions League quarter-final tie, setting up a surefire thriller in the return leg at the Bernabeu. While many zeroed in their attention on the football, others focused their chatter on the gaffer’s unbelievably Hard outfit on the touchline. Vincent Kompany’s fit hit Twitter like his screamer against Leicester to seal the title for City. It can often be mad cringe when the manager steps out in head-to-toe items from the club’s Official Kit Supplier, which is usually just a generic tracksuit or some Big Ass Coat for the harsh winter matches. Thankfully Kompany manages an adidas club, which means he was able to step out in Superstars, baggy cargos, a parka that surely has Liam Gallagher calling up the PR folks at the Three Stripes, and the subtle flex of a Y-3 cap. He’s not a regular coach, he’s a Cool Coach. He’s on his way to his second successive Bundesliga title at the moment, but the impending departure of Pep Guardiola could open the door for his return to Manchester. We sure hope not considering Puma is bottom-barrel crap!

ENEMY OF THE WEEK

Masters Gear

First of all, respect to Golf Haters and Golf Enjoyers alike. We’re right down the middle, having a complicated relationship with the sport after a childhood spent forced to golf and some surefire resentment. If invited, we might play. Top Golf is fun. Our main complaint is that golf takes too long. 9 holes is more than enough. It also doesn’t help that golf’s stuffy reputation exists for a reason, and it attracts the widest variety of DipShits of perhaps any other hobby (skateboarding’s up there too). After a rocky weekend, Rory McIlroy won his second-straight Green Jacket to rapturous applause from the Gaudiest Bunch of Merch Junkies this side of a Taylor Swift concert.

Merch has gone berserk over the years. The insidious growth of the Global Merch Industrial Complex began with tacky souvenir t-shirts from tackier tourist destinations, spread to concerts, then Hard Rock Cafe fever hit right at the intersection of both. Nowadays every content creator and flash-in-the-pan reality television star has their own t-shirts and hats with silly quotes and bad graphics as just another way to Monetize their Audience.

The worst, by far, is Masters Merch. Yes, it would be quite a thrill to attend The Masters. If you’re into Sporting Experiences then it’s definitely a must and it’s supposedly very Exclusive.

Augusta’s Merch MasterMinds identified a unique region of the brain that activates an unquenchable desire to buy Branded BullShit. They have created a cult of merch that induces mass hysteria and huge secondary markets every year. Lines stretch 90 minutes just to hope there’s still stock of The Hot Item(s), in this case a set of 10 gnomes and a mahjong set, and nearly anything else your mind could picture with a logo on it. Attendees are desperate to get their mitts on ill-fitting synthetic polos and bucket hats in ostentatious green and yellow hues.

This has also seen Masters Merch succumb to the worst cancer than can afflict any subculture: RESELLERS. Some brave the lines and buy everything in search of profit. And for a hefty premium, any DickWad can cop a polo from eBay and Act Like They’ve Been There. The only thing worse than a performative Masters attender is a Poser! What should be a keepsake from one of Sport’s greatest experiences has become just another Marketplace full of Busters chasing clout and backslaps. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been there…it matters that you have the merch.

ADDITIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Track 1 by Albm Skateboards

Albm Skateboards Banged Us Over the Head with their initial video offering, Track 1, and their first run of skateboards. The video was some quintessential NYC Shit, and we gotta give a major shout to Real Soldier 4 Life Mathias Rotstein. Keep your eyes on him and the rest of the Albm crew!

Salomon “Sully” Cardenas Jr. on The Bunt

Sully joined The Bunt to talk about his triumphant return to WKND and the rest of his skate career so far. We’re still mourning Alltimers but we’re happy to see Sully back with the WKND team.

Sam Altman May Control Our Future—Can He Be Trusted?

Important. No paywall here.

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Spring is in full swing and the drizzle looms above. We whipped up a guide to keep you dry until May’s flowers (hopefully) emerge along with sunshine and happiness.

We dive into the history of GORE-TEX® and some cracking garms using the king of textiles. We also give you a couple alternative forms of weather protection in the form of Pertex and waxed cotton.

With all these banging waterproof garms, what self respecting Soldier would be caught Outside wielding an umbrella? Don’t Do It.

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GARM OF THE WEEK

GORE-TEX®

They say April showers bring May flowers. That’s a good excuse to cop a new rain jacket. And Real Soldiers know the only way to properly stay dry while stunting is in some GORE-TEX®.

Mad scientist Bob Gore was fucking around in his lab one fateful night in 1969 when he inadvertently created one of the most important textiles in the history of huManity: GORE-TEX®. GORE-TEX® material is made by quickly stretching heated polytetrafluoroethylene (PTFE), a chemical used in Teflon coating, lubricants, and other applications, which results in a microporous structure that blocks liquid water to keep you dry but allows water vapor to pass through to manage your body temperature. 57 years later and you’ll find GORE-TEX® on everything from sick ass rain jackets to underwear and many a Soldier who simply won’t leave home without it!

Bob got his start when he figured out a way to help his pops, Bill, use PTFE to wrap and insulate electrical wire. This discovery allowed Bill’s parents to start W. L. Gore and associates a year later to fully focus on novel uses for PTFE. Bob finished up his PhD in chemical engineering and joined the company in 1963. He stretched that shit a few years later and the rest is history.

A Seattle brand called Early Winters used GORE-TEX® on a tent in 1976, the first commercial use of the new waterproof material, and the following year they used it to enhance their raingear. The North Face and Marmot were some of the next to experiment with GORE-TEX® and certainly can be credited with pioneering and popularizing its use on a variety of items. Danner, a Portland icon, was early to use GORE-TEX® in footwear, and gloves came along in the early 80s.

It seems like just about everything Cool emerged from the 90s cultural melting pot of NYC: hip hop, streetwear, graffiti, and skateboarding. In a shocking twist, these same Youths also made GORE-TEX® cool! Graffiti writers rocked technical outerwear to combat the elements of the streets but also to make a statement. They usually boosted the pricey garms, allowing them to flex some Hot Shit while simultaneously being Hot Shit. The 90s also saw Wu Tang rocking North Face Shit, Big L and Nas name-checking GORE-TEX® in songs, and a whole episode of Seinfeld about George’s giant GORE-TEX® jacket.

GORE-TEX® Rain Cap by Snow Peak

It’s not just for jackets! Waterproof headwear is a must for dry climates. Snow Peak has this sleek waterproof camp cap in tan or black to go with any fit and any inclement weather a Soldier may encounter. It’s an elegant mashup of street style and technical design as Snow Peak has come to be known for nearly 80 years. Japan’s Niigata Prefecture continues to inspire their distinct take on outdoor equipment and garms.

GORE-TEX® Shell Jacket by Dancer and 66°North

Hjalte Halberg, Anton Juul, and Kevin Walter founded Dancer in Copenhagen in 2019. They’ve been operating squarely on the radar of Real Fashion Soldiers, with a detailed program of graphic tees, everyday basics, and unique designs. While the ultra-tasteful Soldiers are well versed, the wider ranks are not tapped-in to the degree one would expect for a company fronted by the one and only Hjalte. They keep collaborations to a minimum, but when they collab, Oh Baby! If you’ve ever been to Scandinavia, you’ll be acquainted with 66°North because it’s all over the fuckin’ place. They’ve been outfitting some of the world’s most treacherous climates for 100 years and originally started out making burly outerwear for Icelandic fisherman. Dancer and 66°North linked up to create a Danish take on the Icelandic classic rain jacket, using deadstock GORE-TEX® across a multi-paneled stunner. This slapper is sold out, but the standard version is available here. Not as Cool but just as functional.

GORE-TEX® 2L Hiking Pant by thisisneverthat

thisisneverthat is doing some of the more interesting stuff with GORE-TEX® amongst the wide spectrum of makers. They recently dropped a collection of Windstopper jackets and pants that stopped us in our tracks. Their latest offering is a classic hiking pant made from 2L GORE-TEX® with sealed seams and zippers for ultimate protection from the elements. There’s simply no excuse to stay inside when you can step out in some waterproof Shit like this!

OTHER GOOD GARMS

Firewall Mountain Waterproof Jacket by Rab

Believe it or not, there actually are alternatives to GORE-TEX®, who remains the market leader. Pertex Shield is one of those “competitors” seen across technical outfitters and Fashion brands alike. They were founded two decades after Gore and sometimes offers better value (*ahem* manufacturing cost) but performs comparably to GORE-TEX®. Rab is one of the most respected outdoor brands with Soldiers who are Really Climbing and Shit. They use Pertex Shield in their marquee waterproof jacket. Must be pretty good stuff!

Heavy Duty Raincoat by Dehen 1920

Waxed Cotton was here before GORE-TEX® and it’ll be here long after it’s gone (not really, since waxed cotton is biodegradable and GORE-TEX® is just plastic, but go with us). This is how Real OGs stayed dry back before ArcTeryx and Shit. Dehen 1920 is a Portland-based specialist in US-made cotton garms, so they’re in an exclusive echelon of Ball Knowers when it comes to winterizing cotton. Their Heavy Duty Raincoat is absolutely body slamming the competition in Darkwood Camouflage. It uses 12 oz. cotton coated with a dry wax finish, milled in the U.K. by Halley Stevensons and cut and sewn in Portland, Oregon. An environmentally sound choice.

SOLDIER OF THE WEEK

Robert W. Gore

TWR salutes the Gorefather, without whom we wouldn’t have Gorpcore, Arcys, Steep Tech, and so many historically Banging fits. Big Bob had a PhD in chemical engineering and spent decades revolutionizing the PTFE industry, creating applications for the material in electrical, medical, and textile fields. In his life he was honored with countless scientific awards for his achievements and was a prolific philanthropist. Thank You Based Gore.

ENEMY OF THE WEEK

Umbrellas

Do you look cool with an umbrella? Fuck no. Nobody looks cool with an umbrella. In fact, the entire Pacific Northwest region of the United States will shun your ass if you use one. They’ve been around for millennia but been surpassed in every way thanks to modern technology. The advent of waterproof garms made umbrellas obsolete. Why hold something in one hand when you can free it up with a hood or cap? There’s no need to shield your whole frame when waterproof pants and shoes keep you dry with ease. You can’t bash your umbrella into innocent bystanders if you don’t use one. In fact, a world without umbrellas means a world without metal wires to the eye or umbrella downpours on your head when some DipShit tips theirs the wrong way. The final, and biggest, knock on umbrellas is that they’re fucking useless in the wind unless you like chasing one down the street or struggling to get the wires going back the proper direction after a big gust. Enough is enough!

You’re now up to speed on the latest from the battlefield. Use this intel wisely and pass it on to others who may need our guidance. We can’t win the war unless we’re in it together. $5 TWR sticker packs available here.

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The history of cargo pants from military service pant to Certified Staple for Stunting Soldiers.

Cozy upper layers from PunkandYo and New Balance Numeric.

Dick Rizzo.

Fuct Up Old Heads.

The VP Footwear Archive.

This week in The War Report.

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GARM OF THE WEEK

Cargo Pants

They say less is more, but this does not apply when it comes to Pants Pockets. More pockets is always better. And the original mega-pocketed pant is the British military-designed Cargo Pant.

The cargo pant as we know it today started its life as the “Battle Dress” uniform introduced by the British military in the late 1930s to give Soldiers more spots to carry all the Important Shit when out on the battlefield. The original version was unfussy and had a simple pocket above the knee and at the side to carry a few things. It was soon co-opted by the US military, where the Americanized version Super Sized the pockets in the spirit of Great American Maximalism. US Paratroopers could now stuff everything they own in their cargo pockets as they parachute into enemy territory in the heat of WW2.

Militaries the world over continued iterating on fits and pocket styles. Eventually the M-51 uniform, synonymous with the iconic military jacket, came along and damn near perfected the garm. This is mostly the version that has endured, sporting 6 pockets, generous fit, and drawstrings at waist and hem for personalized fit.

Cargos remained niche for decades until eventually being adopted by the most stylish motherfuckers of the 1990s - skaters, rappers, and various other Cool MFs. It’s a staple of every Soldier’s closet for the utility as well as the endless possibilities of materials, patterns, silhouettes, and pocket placements. Here are a few of our favorites.

Rothco Tactical BDU Pants

The standard issue cargo. No frills, made for action (on battlefields near and far). They suit all Soldiers thanks to drawstrings at hems and cinch at waist. Rothco offers them in all kinds of colors and patterns, just don’t go full Stephen Lawyer. Their cargos are built to withstand harsh missions in the streets, they’re Cheap compared to Fashion Brand offerings, and they’re a lovely blank to add your own logos and branding (shout out Kinetic Skate Shop).

Nike ACG Smith Summit Zip Cargo Pants

It doesn’t get more versatile than two different garms in one package, and Nike ACG’s Smith Summit cargos feature removable bottoms to convert into shorts when Shit really Heats Up! They’re made from heavy duty nylon and have a tiny bit of spandex for some stretch to allow for more maneuvering. That’s also why they’re cut nice and loose, with added articulation at the knees and an on-seam gusset to allow for even greater range of natural movement. We’ve been running the previous model for years, which has a more standard pocket placement at the side of the leg, while the updated version has moved them to the front of the thighs. In any case, these pants are built to carry all your Shit and look Damn Good doing it, plus you can turn them into shorts and wear them year-round. Banging.

Sexhippies Air Man Pant

Tan. Ripstop. Hella pockets. That’s a pretty good formula for some Slapping cargo pants, and of course the Sexhippies version is freaked and tweaked in their own special way. This one is the Air Man Pant, lifting design cues from heavily-pocketed trousers worn by military air forces over the years. It’s got 8 pockets total, including a couple little ones on each shin, so you can stash Shit all over your legs to balance loads or hide treasures. Just be careful because it’s easy to find yourself checking all 8 pockets for your lighter.

OTHER GOOD GARMS

Tiger Polar Fleece by PUNKANDYO

Talk about a Fuckin’ statement piece! They call the colorway “Tiger” but it’s kinda like a tiger that fell into that radioactive ooze from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and started doing petty crimes. It stands out as even wilder than the jawns we’ve come to expect from Etienne Gagne’s PunkAndYo, a brand pushing out garms that mix high-quality construction with a little Y2K aesthetic and design cues from the tall tee and gangster cartoon era of hip hop. ET runs P&Y with partner Anthony Asfour, a bonafide Fashion MF who studied graphic design worked in a fabric warehouse, and did time at Dime prior to founding their brand in 2020. There must be something in the water up there in Montreal that produces so many galaxy-brained creative maniacs, from the Dime crew to ET and other legacy Alltimers to the goated Celine Dion. We gotta make a trip up there and get a sip from the Fountain of Dope.

Waffle Knit Long Sleeve Henley by New Balance Numeric

We’re Henley Haters. Henleys are Ass. They’re usually seen being worn way too tight by real douchebag types. That being said, there are exceptions to every rule and the good homies at New Balance Numeric made a Cracking henley. We were dubious when we first pulled it out of our box (thank you Nick <3), but after trying it on it fell right into the garm rotation. This thing is burly thanks to a Thick Ass waffle knit and a critical layer for the chilly sessions. We love a versatile garm, and this one can be worn on it’s own, atop a t-shirt, or under a jacket depending on the weather or your desired look. The tonal branding at the chest and sleeve are lowkey and take nothing away from the great design. The fit is roomy and it holds shape unbelievably well through plenty of washes and dryer cycles. Cop up if you want to look like the dashing Tom Knox (UK).

SOLDIER OF THE WEEK

Dick Rizzo

There’s nothing more important in life than Taste. The AI robots can’t account for it. The deficient can’t learn it. The rich can’t buy it. You’re either Blessed or you’re Not. And Dick Rizzo is Fuckin’ Blessed. Whether going by Richie or Dick, that name is Hard as Hell. He’s the modern successor to Bobby Puleo’s unique approach to skating creative and Shitty spots. His outfits are always expertly proportioned. He’s become synonymous with Half Cabs (give him the damn shoe, Vans!) and is running more Yankee hats than prime Hova. BDK might think this is wack, but his skating always makes us want to Get Off Our Ass and grind something! Rizzo was robbed of SOTY during a mindblowing 2024, so we’re hoping the ender in HARD RESET is the first of many parts in 2026. When it comes to SOTY, We Pick Dick!

ENEMY OF THE WEEK

Fuct

Nobody wins awards for longevity, and especially if that longevity is a result of just lurking around. Fuct was founded in 1990 by Erik Brunetti and Natas Kaupas and, save for their initial success thanks to the Natas name, they’ve more or less been a complete unknown for 36 years now! In case the name didn’t give them away, Fuct emerged from the Edgy and Controversial 90’s skate scene notorious for swastikas and slurs.

Brunetti has dipped in and out through the years and most recently tried to re-introduce the brand in 2019 with the backing of Ian Michna and Jenkem. That didn’t seem to move the needle with the culture, and perhaps it was the final blow Brunetti needed to fully convert to hard-right victim baby. We didn’t even know Fuct was still around until he fell into the old Social Media Trap that’s gotten so many Fools since the dawn of Twitter. Like many of his contemporaries, Brunetti rode the subversive-to-conservative pipeline and couldn’t help but shout it from the rooftops following Trump’s 2024 election and the resulting monumental and immediate culture shift hard to the right. Fuct’s most recent innovation is MMA fighting clothes, a surefire grift to tap into the lucrative Ignorant Prick market that’s booming thanks to Trump’s deep partnership with purveyor of homoerotic entertainment Dana White. Brunetti’s been very vocal (in comment sections) lately, including calling out Palace for copying his designs (LOL) and tripping about the origins of streetwear (LMAO). But dig even further back and you’ll find him backing Trump’s BullShit about Obama’s citizenship and bashing libs as early as 2011! The Fuct Twitter is chock full of Brunetti opining against liberals! And here’s a really interesting observation!

From all of us here at TWR, we humbly ask Erik Brunetti to Get Fuct. The future is now and you’re not part of it, old man!

ADDITIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Village Psychic Footwear Archive

Village Psychic just revamped their site and the highlight is the new Footwear Archive with insane gems from skate shoe designers long gone and some that most people don’t even know about (2 Fish Shoe Works?!?!). Skateboarding’s best footwear repository from the legends who bring you the monthly footwear recaps!

You’re now up to speed on the latest from the battlefield. Use this intel wisely and pass it on to others who may need our guidance. We can’t win the war unless we’re in it together. $5 TWR sticker packs available here.

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Each month we’re highlighting what we’re Really Running so you know what’s hitting hardest. We always have our favorite garms on Heavy Rotation.

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HEAVY ROTATION - March 2026

Village Psychic Granite Cap

Nike ACG Rufus Moc

Mountain Hardware Ghost Whisperer Jacket

35th North Baseball Tee

Hellrazor Corduroy Shirt

Paa Wide Wale Corduroy Trouser

Gramicci Corduroy Pants

Dehen 1920 Watch Cap

Palace x Engineered Garments Cap

Slow Impact Free Palestine Tote Bag

Columbia Socks

Salomon XT-4

You’re now up to speed on the latest from the battlefield. Use this intel wisely and pass it on to others who may need our guidance. We can’t win the war unless we’re in it together. $5 TWR sticker packs available here.

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Get familiar with the origins of the Oxford shirt and find out which ones Really Rock.

We’re serving up a tasty one from Service Works and a warm one from FA.

Erik Herrera Stuns In New VENTURE PART.

Kash’s Kustom Kicks are Komically Kringe.

Plus, Print Media and Audio/Video Interviews!

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GARM OF THE WEEK

The Oxford Shirt (600-700 words)

The Oxford shirt has been around since the 18th century. The basket-woven cotton was developed in Scotland and named for the famed Oxford University. Its iconic heavy weave gives it a durable quality that maintains softness.

Brooks Brothers introduced the modern version in 1896, standardizing features like the button-down collar and back pleat. Polo players (on the horses and shit, like the Polo guy) made these adjustments DIY-style to allow for more movement while they were playing, and it turns out the freedom of movement is good for pretty much everyone else too! This version first got traction with the masses as an alternative to stiff dress shirts with suits, then was adopted by the actual prep and Ivy set that went on to inspire generations of Brands.

Ralph’s take was first released in the late 60’s, and J. Crew and others pushed a Mall prep boom in the 90’s to further cement the garm as a Motherfuckin’ Must. In more recent times, the Uniqlo Oxford had a stranglehold on WDYWT thread across the sneaker internet (for good reason).

We often sing the praises of Versatility in garms. So much of the modern world champions extreme Specialization, whether that’s single-purpose jawns or single-focus people, and disregards the importance of Generalization. You could wear an Oxford to a wedding or a skate session. Open or closed. With any style of Pants! Even with track pants like the Palace blads! Wardrobes should be full of this type of Utility garm for all missions. Another key ingredient for The Perfect Garm is that it should look better with wear. Needless to say: Check!

Some of our favorites:

Supreme

Ralph is the blueprint for the best, and imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Every Ralph-wannabe from J. Crew to ALD has its version. Supreme’s is the best. Materials and fit have stayed strong and consistent through the years, they always find new ways to set them off each season, and they usually keep the branding and graphics minimal.

Uniqlo

This particular shirt has been around in “streetwear” forever for good reason. Uniqlo offers Really Good Clothes for Really Good Prices and has kept it consistent all these years. They are a go-to for wardrobe staples like Oxfords and sweaters at an affordable cost for all Soldiers. They frequently collaborate with Japanese designers like Engineered Garments and NEEDLES to allow more Soldiers to access The Best Shit, and maintain ongoing partnerships with JW Anderson and Lemaire for the same reason. Uniqlo’s Oxford is marketed as slim fit but we would say it’s more on the regular side. They recently introduced an on-trend oversized fit, but we haven’t had good experiences with other brands’ oversized fit Oxfords so hesitate to recommend uniqlo’s. We’re far from Trad, but this is one area where we must respect the OG and not Fuck with a Good Thing.

18 East

Antonio Ciognoli spent time as a designer at Ralph Lauren before launching 18 East, where he takes influence from a diverse background and handmade Indian textiles to produce The Best Fleece In The Game, really strong basics, and outstanding versions of icons like cargos, mountain jackets, and Oxfords (duh). Theirs is cut the way it ought to be, which is to say just relaxed enough to allow for full freedom of movement. Each colorway features an Indian “Bhuti” flower hand-embroidered flower at the left side seam. We recently came up on the Pink version (long story but thanks, Ted) that’s dyed in a traditional Indian method called Dabu, a time-intensive process that requires painting the design in mud then allowing it to dry and crack before hand dyeing to finish. The result is a slightly trippy and Very Vibey Oxford as only 18 East can do it.

OTHER GOOD GARMS

Waiter Shirt by Service Works

Oxford cotton can also mix well with other shirt patterns. The service-ready shirt by Service Works uses blue Oxford cotton on their Waiter Shirt style for a unique spin. It’s never easy to execute a mashup garm, but they smashed this one. We especially love the box pleat, which was originally designed to add greater freedom of movement. This is a smart addition to a shirt meant to be worn by busy servers during the hustle and bustle of a busy shift. Service Works is a TWR favorite because they take inspiration from the ancient ritual of breaking bread together. These garms pay homage to the backbone of every restaurant dining experience, the service staff, and we Salute those Unsung Soldiers as well. Sharing a meal is one of the most important human experiences that has kept our circles bonded and strong since the dawn of time. But the importance of these critical social experiences is being underlined in the modern era of Devices and Solitude. Shout out to Service Works for the reminder to grab a bite with the homies after the session instead of rushing home.

Waxed Puffer Jacket by Fucking Awesome

FA’s apparel program has really been cracking since the beginning, coming hard with well-made garms of all cut-and-sew varieties that are oft overlooked by the kids fiending for tees and hats with the word “fucking” blasted on ‘em. A lot of FA bangers have unfortunately been ruined by giving the people what they want (silly edginess). This jacket is on the edge of ruin, but thankfully they went with the “FA” logo and stuck to tonal outlining for a subtle edge rather than a full-on assault of branding. A cotton puffer is exactly the type of wild innovation that FA brings to the table, unafraid to experiment with Shit nobody else is doing. Topping it off with that wax treatment adds critical winter water resistance in the form of classic and under-utilized textile work from a bygone era before the rise of Synthetics. Less is more, so we would’ve left off the huge back graphic, but we appreciate the aforementioned tonal outline that doesn’t absolutely ruin an otherwise terrific garm. All in all, this is another lowkey banger from a brand that continues churning ‘em out.

SOLDIER OF THE WEEK

Erik Herrera

Erik Herrera is as smooth as it gets! If you haven’t checked his new Venture part, we recommend getting your ass to Youtube immediately to experience the definition of “stee” in motion. As per usual with a VENTURE PART, Herrera rips a variety of spots for 2 minutes of straight Bangers and Finesse. He blasts over street gaps with ease, unassuming garms flapping from the speed just like his long locks. The kits are unassuming but stylish, keeping it clean in minimally-branded Huf stuff and Converse One Stars. Like many legends before him, he favors brown and khaki and check shirts. If they shot this in VX it could probably pass for a 90’s clip. In a sea of graphic tees and hoodies, Erik rarely chooses either. And now that the braces are off? Sheeeeeit. This guy is Up! Erik Herrera cannot be Fucked With. Neither can Venture. Awake.

ENEMY OF THE WEEK

Custom Sneakers

Custom sneakers were booming in the early 2010’s. Every other day there was a new Complex post about the latest celebrity custom that Mache whipped up. Every sneakerhead at least thought about making their own customs. Nike revived and beefed up iD options to ride the wave. The moment eventually ended, as they always do, but an unfortunate few still haven’t realized it. For many reasons, customs are still going around and they’ve only gotten worse. Some customizers are still doing it For The Love Of The Game, which we commend to some degree. But some guys are frozen in time wearing customs and Yeezys and Shit. There’s a subset of Millennials that display very Boomer-like tendencies, chiefly remaining Stuck In The Past for one reason or another. Many men of a certain age are stuck dressing like it’s still 2015, frozen in early adulthood in more ways than just their outfits, but the clothes make it most obvious.

Make your sneakers your own, by all means! Teenagers have a time-honored tradition of scrawling shit on their sneakers in Sharpie or White-Out. Alpha skaters show off their rips as a form of dominance. Most dudes don’t even notice the signature scuffs and scrapes that make their shoes unique to them. Leave actually customized shoes to professional hoopers with PEs.

A word of advice if you happen to end up with your very own pair of customized kicks: put them on display or put them away. Do Not Wear Them! We’ll admit that bespoke sneakers make a great gift for the right occasion and/or recipient. But after you dance your ass off as the Best Man in that wedding you need to put them in the closet for good. Many make the mistake of bringing custom sneakers, especially very niche or Very Loud ones, into their rotation. This ends up like a vanity license plate on a car where people are mostly staring at the sneakers trying to figure out what the Fuck they are rather than thinking, “whoa, sick!”

An elite group of Clueless Losers Who Know Nothing About Being Tight not only gift themselves custom kicks, but they also proudly wear them in public thinking they’re Flexing. Well known Pathetic Loser Kash PateLOL recently unveiled sneakers done up in honor of himself, celebrating his job as head of the FBI and including a bunch of goofy logos like a Punisher skull and his own personal logo (!). Kash’s Kustomz violate so many rules that they end up looking like some abominations your kid throws a tantrum to get, which is befitting for the first child ever to be director of the FBI. Loud colors? Check. Lots of different logos? Check. Generic shoe as the canvas? Check. (Aside, this is painful for us to write. The Jordan 1 is our favorite silhouette of all time. But it lost its luster when the bosses flooded the market with excessive variations and collaborations. Same story with the Dunk. Leave the golden geese to themselves). The only difference between these and kids shoes is Kash’s don’t light up!

ADDITIONAL INTELLIGENCE

PLANK

Issue 2 of PLANK magazine has arrived from TWR Commanders Sam Korman and Maxwell Harrison-Caldwell featuring contributions from many more. The theme of the issue is Dance, with the graceful maneuvering of Brad Cromer on the cover and the likes of Finn Pope, Max Palmer, and Zak Anders dancing inside. Grab a subscription here.

Mike Gigliotti on The Bunt

Mike Gigliotti is vulnerable and open in his new interview with the guys at The Bunt`. Stories about early Supreme, coast-to-coast moves, and Baker. His interviews are always a must-listen.

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Alex Fazekas-Boone, Captain of the Western Hustlers Legion and Head Honcho of Adjacency Bias, asked us to weigh in on the garm scene on the ground at Tempe Fashion Week. We put together in-depth field analysis of the fits, brands, kicks, and crews and doled out commendations for the Best Dressers. Check it out here! Thank you for the opportunity, Alex!

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Before you Split The G, get familiar with Irish garms and culture in this week’s edition of The War Report. Éirinn go Brách , Soldiers!

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GARM OF THE WEEK

The Fisherman’s Sweater

Today is St. Patrick’s Day. What began as a holy day celebrating a Religious Wackjob who converted the pagans to christianity is now known for Wearing Green and Blacking Out. Ireland is a tiny country with a rich cultural heritage and history going back millennia! Sure, the Irish love a drink, but they have given so much more to the world than just Guinness! One unsung bit of Irish kit is the Aran sweater, a proper fisherman’s garm made with untreated wool that adds water-repellence to the warmth of its thick yarn. The sweater hails from the Aran Islands, a treacherous archipelago off the western coast of Ireland. The traditional Aran sweater is adorned with ornate stitching patterns that were used to identify clans and other associations, symbolizing far more than the modern cable-knit decoration. American audiences were introduced to the fisherman’s sweater when it was worn by Irish folk musicians during a surprising burst of popularity in the 1960s. A cottage industry sprung up in Ireland and the style was picked up and interpreted by everyone from Brooks Brothers to J. Crew and the Irish icon has lost some of its luster.

Nowadays you’ll find the style on standard crewnecks in addition to being repurposed for other sweater variations like cardigans and vests, but nothing beats the classic. Here are some of our favorites:

Quince isn’t just making clothes for your girl! They’re making some really solid Shit at affordable prices for Soldiers, too! They focus on quality and sustainability in producing garms with timeless designs and no branding. Australian merino wool is the chosen textile for Quince’s take on the fisherman’s sweater for a smooth texture and maximum breathability. They say a comparable version would cost 65% more than Quince’s, and that sounds like savings you could take to the Bank! Or use it to buy more garms.

Beams Plus consistently delivers classically-inspired clothing from around the globe imbued with their renowned attention to detail. Their cable-knit features a heavy 5-gauge yarn and we love the deep green colorway that’s ready to pair with a lovely pair of chinos or cords.

Dime is the most fun brand in the world, and one of the ways that manifests is the persistent wave pattern seen across seasons and style as a signature design element. They take the standard knits and make them Wavy for a purely Dime take on the old-fashioned sweater.

OTHER GOOD GARMS

Spicebag

Adam Doyle, also known as Spicebag, is an Irish artist and political activist using the written word and cleverly designed garms that bring much needed awareness to the decline of native Irish culture and language. Where Kneecap use music and public protest to raise attention for the Irish cause and its people’s solidarity with the Palestinian struggle, Spicebag uses art and jawns. Tees, scarves, hats, and football shirts flying the Irish tricolor mix with novelty toy soldiers and a rug made to look like an Irish scratch ticket. The best ones are the Ireland/Palestine solidarity items, especially this football kit that raised funds for Dignity For Palestine. Word to the wise: order a full size up from your US size to get the proper fit! And if you want one of these jerseys in an XL (fits size L), hit us up :)

Pellador

Pellador is offering a thoroughly Irish take on the classic era of sportswear that looks just like the Shit our Irish cousins used to run in the 90s. Billed as a mash-up of Irish heritage and wider European football culture, it is everything you’d expect to see on the terraces and in the pubs of the golden age of football. They specialize in knitwear, a staple of any Irish brand worth their claddagh, along with track suits and football shirts. Then they balance out the tasteful and understated with wild Shit like a skullies with photos of Damien Duff or John O’Shea. And their version of the fisherman’s sweater is a t-shirt printed with an Aran pattern. We love brands that can mix Sophisticated with Flashy. We’d choose Damien Duff, by the way.

SOLDIER OF THE WEEK

Dee Collins

The Irish skate scene has yet to make a major impact in the wider world, but Northern Ireland’s Dee Collins is more than making a mark for Eire right now. He has a distinctively European flavor and an Irish threshold for pain (high) that make for exciting skating. He’s a one shoe guy, increasingly rare, who runs every colorway of the New Balance Numeric 1010 with pants that rival Tiago’s. Collins put down for New Balance and his board sponsor, The National Skateboard Co., in a banner year for the Derry man. Collins is another proud Irishman from the north who uses his Irish name on Instagram and paid tribute to Irish/Palestinian solidarity with his debut pro board for The National Skateboard Co. Last year was a big one and we’re stoked to see him push Irish skating to even further heights in 2026.

ENEMY OF THE WEEK

Showing Ankle

Fake Spring is springing for many Soldiers, and the glimpse of sun and warmth sure brings the dogs out. And by dogs, we’re talking about men’s feet. We have many rules as it pertains to Showing Feet and the violations come flooding out as soon as guys get the slightest sign that it might be time to air them out. One egregious offense that persists throughout the year, though, must be addressed: Throwing Ankle. Gentlemen, it’s time to put those damn ankles away!

There was a Moment about a decade ago where pants and socks both got shorter, a tactic sometimes meant to highlight the footwork in the era of pinroll jeans and…joggers… The Moment seemed to pass as quickly as it came on, but a lot of fellas are still back in 2016. Lots of us wish we could go back to those simpler times before the hell that was unleashed, but the only thing worse than living in the past is Dressing in the past!

Ankles should only be out if you’re rocking sock-optional footwear, like water shoes or slides. It’s important that we draw a line here, though: All Other Footwear Must Be Worn With Socks. We know plenty of freaks that go barefoot in their creps and it is a downright despicable act! Near treasonous. It’s gross and smelly and tears up your feet, a red line for TWR. A Soldier can only go as far as his Footwear can take him. And you already know that no-show socks do not count. They are to the sock world what thongs are to the underwear world. Nobody is supposed to see it but yourself and your partner. Don’t get caught having to remove your shoes at the party only to walk around with most, but not all, of your feet out for everyone to see!

Fill your sock drawer with solid colored cotton socks in crew and quarter lengths. We usually stick with Polos. White is really all you need, but it doesn’t hurt to keep some grey and black ones stashed away, too. You don’t want to look like a goofball and have socks the same color as your shoes, do you? That’s a topic for another edition.

ADDITIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Weird Ireland

Irishman Brinsley McNamara is shining a light on the island’s most bizarre Shit on Weird Ireland.

Meditations For The Anxious Mind

Frankie McNamara (no relation to Brinsley) is skewering Irish and British culture and goofball Lads in deadpan Irish delivery on Meditations For The Anxious Mind.

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CM101: Communal Mastery (©️ Bobby Wildheart Pourier Jr.)

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We went to Slow Impact and lived to tell you about it. Read on for all the caps, the kicks, the crowd, and the King of Tempe.

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GARM OF THE WEEK

Caps

Tempe Fashion Week, as Slow Impact is often called, brought out the Best Dressed Skateboarders from around the damn globe for the 4th consecutive February. This year saw representatives from all over the country as well as visitors from Sweden, Australia, England, and Canada. One thing you’ll see straight away when surrounded by The Most Fitted is the commitment to Caps that transcends borders, and even Boarders, as potentially The Most Critical Element to a Banging Fit.

A hat is a near-necessity in the skater’s uniform for both function (soak up the sweat, block out the sun) and fashion (rep your favorite shop, brand, Energy Drink™️). And in the 90+ degree heat of Tempe, AZ, a place that doesn’t offer much in the way of shade, they were even more important. Every style of headwear was on display, but it was surprising to see just how pervasive the old fashioned ballcap was despite the unusually high temps and blazing hot sun. We were on the lookout for buckets and boonies and other stylish forms of sun protection, and there were certainly some in the crowd, but most opted for the classic cap. Here’s a round-up of some of our favorites.

OTHER GOOD GARMS

New Balance Numeric 933

The most popular shoe (based on our eye test) of the weekend was the New Balance Numeric 933, also known as the Reynolds. The Boss came to Slow Impact last year and sat down with designers Nick Pappas and Jeff Mikut to discuss the development process. As a result, we expected to see them around this year, but were still surprised at just how popular it was. It was sported by Slow Impacters of all ages, lest you think it’s exclusively built for a certain demographic, and a plethora of banging colorways were on display in the desert. The 933 gives you comfort all day long, and they’re great shoes for transitioning from daytime street skating to nighttime partying. Numeric’s 480 was the other big shoe of the weekend, thanks in part to the surprise Slow Impact colorway sold exclusively at the event. Lots of people hit the streets in them immediately! Brand-wise, Converse was the second-heaviest presence in Tempe this year.

Birkenstock Boston

It seems like more Soldiers catch on to a brutally important piece of intel each year: Chillers are Critical. Skate shoes are Cool and Sick, but the reality is that not many are built to treat your feet the way they deserve. Other than the aforementioned Reynolds, not many skate shoes are comfortable all day long. By far the most popular chiller this year was the Birkenstock Boston. Whether it was the mornings at the Bouldering Project or the late, late nights at Casey Moore’s, the Birkenstock Boston was everywhere in Tempe. The iconic mule is the sensible choice for dusty desert conditions, unlike the ironically named Arizona (which we brought, and had to deal with dusty socks all weekend!). They appeared in all their color and material offerings and paired perfectly with any fit. In all honesty, we thought Bostons got a little Too Hot in the past couple years, but Slow Impact reminded us that some things simply cannot ever be Too Hot when they are That Good.

SOLDIER OF THE WEEK

Ryan Lay

Slow Impact is something extremely unique - part academic conference, part skateboarding event, a lot of community organizing, and All Good Vibrations. There are so many incredible people who’ve been involved from the start, but it doesn’t happen without Ryan. Even though he’s now living in LA, he took it on the 4th straight year and made sure it was as special and unique as the rest. Ryan is the epitome of a Soldier: he cares deeply about community, the power of skateboarding, and the impact that can be created from merging the two. He spends the weekend grinding to make everything happen in addition to putting on demos at the skate events. He’s painting Mitchell in the morning, emceeing the panels after that, leading the afternoon activities, and herding all the cats to the evening festivities. And by the end of the weekend, he was still the one starting the pit for the Van Deck Parks. Plus, he’s Stylish as Fuck! We love ya, Ryan!

ENEMY OF THE WEEK

The Other Side

“Free Palestine” and “Abolish Ice” and “Fuck Donald Trump” are common refrains at Slow Impact. Real Soldiers fight for Good.

ADDITIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Tempe’s Top Wings (During Slow Impact 2026)

“Whatever the case, when we’re at Casey Moore’s, I know it’s gonna be a good time.” The Good Homie Los peeped the wing scene this year.

José Vadi’s Dispatch from Slow Impact

José Vadi checked in with Simple Magic, offering a slice of Slow Impact life for those who couldn’t make it. “Almost as amazing as Allin’s “Bite It You Scum” being the anthem of perhaps the most progressive skate conference in North America. The song would be played again to an even more intense, final boss of a pit.”

The Spaces Between Bases by Ian Browning

Ian canvassed the scene to get the long and short of The Wheelbase Dilemma, also for Simple Magic. 14.25” is the correct one, by the way.

Mostly Skateboarding Podcast: Slow Impact 2026

The whole gang met in person for the first time at this year’s Slow Impact. Patrick got on the mic and interviewed the people.

Slow Impact 2026 Photo Recap by Ted Schmitz

Ted’s is always the definitive Slow Impact recap.

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Jorts inspiration. Supreme x Nike x Sir Charles. Reebok x Sedan All-Purpose x Robbie Fowler. West Wilson is the only Soldier on Bravo. And why the FUCK are any dudes wearing Hey Dudes?

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GARM OF THE WEEK

Jorts

Many men refuse to show leg in even the most boiling temperatures, but humans have been wearing shorts since the dawn of pants. Shorts get a bad rep in part because it’s pretty hard to find the right fit and style for the individual. The same is true for pants, but shorts have so many more areas where someone can Really fuck it up. Jean shorts have been a staple for Soldiers since the first fella in denim cut off the legs to get some air sometime back in the 1960s. Thanks to that fateful decision, we now have Jorts to flex those leg tats and sneakers and make sure we get some sun on the gams. Their popularity rose thanks to adoption by Cool people in the 80’s and 90’s before becoming something of a Joke in the 2000’s, perhaps driven by trends like JNCOs that drove them into unwearable mockery. As everything eventually does, Jorts stormed back into Fashion wardrobes about a decade later.

Back to the bad rep: there are simply too many styles of Jorts to choose from, and most dudes choose wrong. Some fellas go too big, which is a silly look, but most average guys make the opposite mistake. We’re talking slim-to-skinny fit Jorts. A cardinal sin. The “Kid Rock Halftime Show” look. The “Zara” look. The “European Tourist in Los Angeles” look. It’s a crime to run Jorts that fit like biker shorts yet so many guys are committing the offense.

That’s where we come in. We’ve got three wonderful pairs of denim shorts to set you in the right direction. There are literally endless options of Good Shit in this day and age, so consider these a hell of a starting point in case you’re one of those Soldiers that likes to do their own research.

Levi’s is the first name in denim, and therefore also the first name in denim shorts. Unfortunately our favorite pair, the 550, is no longer being made. We’ll settle for the 478, a current design with a nod to the 90s with all the right elements for a great pair of Jorts in 2026. You know they’re not skimping on the fit since “baggy” is right there in the title, and they come with the high regard of Levi’s heritage and quality.

Baker just dropped a blue version of the Warner Jean Shorts. We previously covered the Warner shorts in black, but the blues are even better looking to be honest. Perhaps the Soldiers at Baker Boys heard our plea for more colors and obliged, or perhaps they just knew they had a Banger on their hands and decided to capitalize, but either way we’re stoked when we see some Slapping Shorts produced in more colorways. They’ve got the right length, proper bagginess, and the shade of blue is as pure as it gets for Jorts. 12 ounces of burl make sure they hold up to whatever missions you take them on and they’re embroidered with the words “The Greatest” for good measure. We’re not sure if that’s for the shorts, for Baker, or for the humble Soldier rocking them, but it fits regardless. They’re great, Baker is great, and anyone who runs Warner shorts is great.

For the Soldiers with refined taste and workwear sensibility, Carhartt WIP has the OG Double Knee short in blue denim. Double knee Jorts have been on the rise from lots of brands in the past few years, bringing that Tough Ass look to shorts that’s normally reserved for pants. These are even complete with carpenter pockets and a hammer loop, preserving all the best parts of Carhartt double knees with the added benefit of leg-cooling considering their Hefty 13.5 ounce material. It’s a lot to drag around on a hot day, but that’s the price of looking Tight.

OTHER GOOD GARMS

Supreme x Nike SB Air Max 2 CB ‘94 Low

This here is a Phoenix Suns blog. In fact, this is a vehemently pro-Charles Barkley blog. The former NBA MVP made his post-retirement career as an outspoken and unintentionally hilarious talking head on Inside the NBA and beyond, but before that he was dominating the court in the 90s and producing a mean line of signature shoes for Nike. Supreme is reviving the CB94 in low top form featuring quintessentially Supreme detailing and a classic trio of colorways. There’s 3M detailing to make these street ready. No word yet on how these skate, but they certainly look Sick as Hell. Stevie and Caleb Barnett are seen trying them out in the lookbook photos, which means we might get a little picnic table edit when they drop on Friday. Here’s hoping we get a Sir Charles photo tee to go with them.

Reebok x Sedan All-Purpose Collection

We see a football-inspired collab and we have to stop and peep. It’s always a Banger when it comes from Sedan All-Purpose, who fuses modern Japanese street design with 90s UK and British inspiration, heavy on the British football tip. This small collab with Reebok hits all the necessary notes in a 4 garm capsule: cap, tee, jacket, and football shirt. Using early 2000s Liverpool shirts as inspiration, they freaked the iconic Carslberg logo into a wacky Sedan All-Purpose one and chose long sleeves for the Real Ones. The cap and tee are also nice, but the jacket is the standout. It’s a Cracking trackie in a vintage check pattern with clean branding and a great fit. Whether you’re on the terraces or the couch, this one is a must for members of the Soccer Squadron.

SOLDIER OF THE WEEK

West Wilson

Summer House is back and the focus is on the demise of Amanda and Kyle’s marriage (which they officially announced shortly before the season began airing). We’ve talked Shit about West Wilson in the past, but the guy is keeping it Very Real in the house this season. He’s calling out his fellow men when they’re acting like idiots (constantly), he’s back in Ciara’s good graces, and most importantly he’s the only one Dressing while the rest of those guys look like Revolve models. Outside the house he has become a vocal critic of Trump and MAGA and is a staunch supporter of women’s rights. In a world full of Jesse Solomons, be a West Wilson.

ENEMY OF THE WEEK

Hey Dudes

Modern air travel is the best way to get exposed to all the evils and disappointments of the world we live in today. There is no greater signifier of the end of human civilization than the prevalence of Hey Dude shoes around this once great country, and navigating your way through a day of air travel surrounded by these abominations is a sure fire way to enter a deep depression. The things are absolutely everywhere and never not jarring to see. Usually they’re found on real life adult men, and we always find this completely confounding. It’s genuinely impossible for us to put ourselves in the mind of a Hey Dude enjoyer and try to see what may draw them to the goofiest shoes in history. There’s no chance they’ll follow the crocs arc (from clowned to ironically worn to Fashion staple) because they have absolutely no saving grace. They’re ugly as hell, a design basically stolen from those gross Sanuks but made even worse by trying to make them more formal by including a lace system and a sneaker like sole. Like Sanuks messed around with boat shoes and spawned something so heinous that it should’ve been put out of its misery immediately. The line has grown to include even more disgusting designs like weird boots and some wannabe Vans. Great news for the country music fans: the Jelly Roll collab is on the way! There’s a world of options to choose from when looking for an easy wearing slip-on shoe, so why reach for the ones that we first heard about from our mom seeing them on the Today show? Why on earth would you put something on your body with THIS LOGO. TWR only recognizes one Hey Dude and it ain’t those damn shoes!

ADDITIONAL INTELLIGENCE

February Footwear Release Recap

The Good Homies at Village Psychic dropped their monthly sneaker roundup for February. There’s nowhere better to get the lowdown on the deluge of footwear dropping every month. Who’s trying the Greasers?

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This week we’re diving into the best and worst of the foundation of every Soldier’s arsenal: the t-shirt.

TWR favorite The Space Program dropped some insanely good garms.

Hardbody and The Star Team linked up for spectacular pants.

Marcello Campanello is the Top of the Top.

Evil Tech Corporations are now making clothes…?

And More!

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GARM OF THE WEEK

The T-Shirt

As with so much of our modern wardrobe, the t-shirt has been adapted from an original life as a purpose-designed garm, namely for laborers and military personnel, to a modern staple for the masses. T-shirts were first created as undergarments worn by laborers and then by the US Navy in the early 1910s. The transition to civilian dress started with returning veterans that began wearing them casually upon returning home from World War II. Running a traditional under-garm as an outer-garm turned the humble t-shirt into a symbol of rebellion and Coolness, especially when the look was popularized by the likes of Marlon Brando and James Dean (they tell us this was the epitome of Cool back then). It pretty much exploded from there, and now most of our teeny pea-brains can’t even conceptualize a world where t-shirts aren’t the standard top for every man, woman, and child.

Unfortunately, the prevalence has also meant that a lot of Bad Actors got a hold of it and started doing Very Bad Things to the t-shirt. Things like deep v-necks and drop hems still haunt the populace years after they’ve fallen out of trend. They’re plastered with graphics (some great, many bad) or Branding for Shitty companies or, the very worst, Goofy Ass messages like, “I’d Rather Be Golfing” or “I Paused My Game For This?” We’ve all fallen victim to a very stupid t-shirt from time to time. In all honesty, a silly t-shirt is a guilty pleasure for us. Remember when Shaq rapped, “Kobe, tell me how my ass taste?” We got a tee with that iconic phrase. Copped from Karmaloop, of course. RIP to one of the great purveyors of useless garms in all of history.

A solid t-shirt is critical to Getting Dressed, yet so many dudes make the wrong choice without even realizing they have a choice. Luckily, The War Report has you covered with a range of options for all Soldiers.

Comfort Colors is the Gawd Damn Goat as far as we’re concerned. We’ve talked about them a lot because they’re quite simply the best. The fit is sorta relaxed but not boxy, the heavyweight cotton has a very soft texture, and they hold their shape well through laundry cycles. You can get one in literally any color you can dream of and we highly recommend doing so. The garment dyed colors are perfect for any fit. Price point varies, but they’re usually around $11 a pop. That’s low enough to treat yourself to a crispy one for every day of the week! And you should treat yourself. You deserve it.

Standard Issue - we’ve been rocking with Jimmy Gorecki’s basics line since it’s founding. At first it was because they came with the backing of one of our favorite skaters and fashion inspirations of all time. We remained tapped in because the stuff is Damn Good. We’ve gone through countless tees, many different pairs of Slacker pants, and even a Phoenix Suns cardigan. It’s all designed with intention, solidly constructed, and manufactured in Vernon, CA, USA. The tees are damn near perfect. They’re a boxy-ish cut made from sturdy 10 ounce cotton to hold up to any activity and plenty of washes, always maintaining shape and feel. $40 for one or $105 for a three pack. Either way, that’s bang for your buck to get High Grade made in USA t-shirts and support a Real Soldier!

Lady White Co. got its start making One Single Solitary Garm: a white t-shirt. That’s what makes them the go-to tee for Soldiers who are actually In The Know. They’ve been doing it Better than anyone else for over a decade and grown to offer a full range of Sophisticated Sportswear in their signature jersey cotton and beyond. Lady White tees are crafted by hand in LA, CA, USA from tubular jersey cotton for no side seams and a crispy texture that softens over time. These tees will run you $70, certainly on the pricier side, but well worth the investment for True Stunters.

OTHER GOOD GARMS

The Space Program Apparel

The Space Program has been in the game for just about a decade and steadily churning out great board graphics, killer video projects, and unearthing the diamonds in the rough that those less discerning eyes often miss. They dabbled in Garms through a capsule collection in partnership with Tactics a few years ago, and we’re beyond stoked that they’re back in the Garm business again with a new range of their own tees and hoodies. Printed locally in Portland, OR, USA on premium US-made blanks, everything’s sourced and designed with the typically attention to detail we know and love from The Space Program. Our favorite jawns are the patchouli colorway of the Orbit hoodie (with the puffiest puff print you’ve ever seen) and the Lil Devil tee (perfectly boxy fit, burly cotton, fun graphic). We hope this is just the start!

Star Team x Hardbody Star Jeans

We’re unabashed fans of The Star Team and their impeccable Pants. Nobody’s putting out better Pants than Kyota and Co. are right now. They just linked with Hardbody to offer two Cracking pairs of collaborative Star Jeans featuring Star and Hardbody branding and their signature Baggy But Not Brazy fit. Plus, they come correct in the most proper colorways: black and olive. Our favorite feature is the generous carpenter pockets on each side giving you the perfect spot to stash your gear on the go. Embroidered ‘Hardbody’ and ‘OD’ logos on the back and coin pockets Let ‘Em Know with subtlety. We would replace the button fly with a zipper, but the custom enamel buttons admittedly Go Hard. We’re still trying to wrap our head around The Best Pants In The World carrying a price tag under $100, an absolute revelation in this economy. Scoop a couple pairs of these burly canvas babies before it’s too late!

SOLDIER OF THE WEEK

Marcello Campanello

Peep this Shit! Marcello Campanello is in a lane of his own. He’s the Smoothest Soldier in Skateboarding. He always steps correct, dressed with meticulous steez in the coldest selections from TWR approved Outfitters like 18 East, FTC, and New Balance. He’s really been on that Model tip lately, with New Balance tapping him for the Made in USA Spring/Summer Seasonal Collection. Marcello’s Tasteful sponsor list (which used to include Maxallure, but now might include Hardbody) lines up perfectly with his equally tasteful trick selection. He’s one of those guys that’s probably capable of some truly Unhinged Tricks (derogatory), but we’re glad we get to see him boosting up like the Tiago Lemos of Queens and focusing on clean and proper style. We think about this IG clip of a fakie tre back 50 at least once a week. The trick was bonkers, but then he puts down a series of beautiful Flatground Fakie Favorites that let us see this fit in its entirety. Marcello always sporting just the proper amount of baggy and has one of the best hat rotations in the game. Let’s hope for that official welcoming to Hardbody and plenty of footage this year!

ENEMY OF THE WEEK

Tech Company Merch

There’s a worrying development in the pathetic world of Tech Oligarch Fanboys: the Tech Companies have MERCH. We felt an evil chill down our spine when we first saw Palantir apparel on Twitter a while back. The gear is just Shitty gym shorts and other generic clothes “designed” by a guy that looks like a failed club promoter turned Genocide Promoter. What sicko reps a tech company? Especially a corporation that was started by the CIA and exists only to surveil the world and commit war crimes via Artificial Intelligence! Even an employee should not be wearing that Shit. Not to be left behind, OpenAI also recently began selling merch. This comes as no surprise given OpenAI’s mega-losses and desperation to make any money at all. Paying to be a walking billboard for Sam Altman’s pyramid scheme is really something. It’s akin to walking around repping Enron in 1999 - you’re gonna feel Really Fucking Dumb in a few years! And finally we come to crypto exchange Coinbase. After a universally panned Super Bowl commercial, they followed up with a merch drop featuring tees and caps. Even if you were tempted to cop because of you love the Backstreet Boys, it still says fuckin’ Coinbase on it! By the way, Jeffrey Epstein was an early investor in Coinbase. It’s terrifying how much traces back to that nasty freak, including just about every ghoul in tech and politics. That’s what you want to put on your fuckin’ t-shirt?

ADDITIONAL INTELLIGENCE

The Rules Of Skateboarding: TJ Rogers

The inaugural edition of Ian Browning’s ‘The Rules Of Skateboarding’ at Skate Bylines checks in with TJ Rogers about his successful cancer battle and returning to the top of the skateboarding world.

Channel 5: Irish Language Revival

Andrew Callaghan goes back to his roots to understand the disappearance and revival of the native Irish language in the first episode of Channel 5’s new series on language preservation around the world.

Behind The Bastards podcast

This pod is a great one for diving into the history of pieces of Shit throughout time. We just finished a two-parter on Jeffrey Epstein’s influence on the modern digital world we occupy in 2026, and let’s just say it’s Very Bad! It traces his nefarious influence on video games and cryptocurrency as facilitated by former First Kid Brock Pierce, a former child star turned Bad Guy who was probably a victim as a kid and likely a predator as an adult. Tale as old as time, unfortunately. It’s a fascinating listen, as are the rest of their deeply reported episodes.

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The biggest event in Men’s Dressing took place this past weekend as NBA All-Star Weekend descended upon sunny Los Angeles. The players put on their best fits, the brands launched their biggest heat, and the house was packed with celebs taking it all in. We’re recapping all the Sneakers and Garms from ASW in this special edition of The War Report.

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NBA All Star Wrap Up

The Sneakers

The focus of every NBA All-Star Weekend is the major sneaker releases. Every brand brings their biggest heaters, dropping coveted collaborations and limited numbers or announcing their New Shit. This year was a really fun battle between Nike and adidas. The Top Two both went Hard and it’s impossible to say who won, but the Three Stripes may have had the edge thanks to this Banging Hellstar tee, and the rest of the collection, in collaboration with All-Star MVP Anthony Edwards. Read on for all the hits and misses of ASW sneakers.

The Ant Edwards Hellstar AE2 collection is exceptional. The F&F pair he wore on court propelled him to the MVP. You’re not gonna get those, but the desert camo public release is stunning in its own right, and has a corresponding Superstar along with cartoony 90s graphic tees.

James Harden didn’t make the game this weekend, but adidas still cooked up something special just in case. Willy Chavarria put his spin on the Harden 10, linking with the Compton Cowboys for a pair of Harden’s colored up like a pair of ostentatious Cowboy boots. These Los Angeles cowboys have their own ranch in Compton and use horseback riding and culture to engage with the local community, provide alternatives to rampant local gang culture, and break negative stereotypes often held against Black Americans. Big Ups Chavarria and Harden for dedicating their platform to the people doing Good for the community.

For those that still don’t believe Devin Booker is the coolest hooper in the league, we simply ask one question: is anyone else collaborating with Hiroshi Fujiwara? The Fragment makeup of the Chapter 2 is Book’s new one in all its glory, highlighting the Spiridon influence with mesh upper and all the hallmarks of Hiroshi. The pair drove around LA giving out pairs, making a stop at Thrasher’s Bust or Bail at the Santa Monica triple set. Book is a skater at heart, there just ain’t no doubt about it anymore.

Jaylen Brown LMAO. This fella wants to be Kyrie so bad. He’s just a Wacker version in every way, from the forced cringe takes to these gross shoes.

Jalen Brunson has taken the challenge of carrying on the Kobe line, and he came correct in a glistening edition of the Kobe 3, possibly the best Kobe sneaker ever. It might’ve been the shoes that helped him lead KAT and Allan Houston to the win for Team Knicks in the Shooting Stars contest.

The Klaw debuted his new signature Kawhi 5, a nice modern design that falls somewhere between a speedy hoop shoe and the Numeric 440 v2.

Klutch Sports launched their LA edition collab with New Balance AC Runner. The AC Runner is an overall Slapper of a sneaker (this sunburst colorway is terrific), so why choose Lebron’s agent as the launch collaborator? Who is clamoring for a sneaker designed by Adele’s fiance?

The Fits

The All-Star Outfits were sometimes Swagged Out, other times Doing Too Much, but generally Cracking. We’d expect nothing less from the best dressed players and fans in sports.

Karl-Anthony Towns had at least one fan of his fit in Nikola Jokic, who lost his mind upon seeing a horse on the back of his jacket. That man truly does love horses, huh? And evidently Jokic was right about it being “a Serbian thing,” as the ALD x Jeff Hamilton jawn takes inspiration from revered St. George, a revered figure in Serbia and wider Slavic Christianity. Weird choice, KAT!

Devin Booker came through in style as always, running a custom USA hat and letting that thang dangle from his wrist. Yeah, he’s shooting film. Yeah, that makes him Tight. We dare ya to say something negative about the King of the Tunnel!

Melo ran What The Books, shunning his Jordan deal in favor of repping the King of the Tunnel. We’d recommend cinching the hems on the cargos, but otherwise he killed the fit with some big ol’ pants and the Stone Island jacket. OG still knows how to Stunt.

Chet Holmgren continues to stun in iconic costumes from the hit film Grandma’s Boy.

This year’s Nike Warm ups were 10/10. A massive graphic inspired by the 90s nostalgia boom, a fire color scheme, and yet subtle enough to allow everyone’s sneakers to be the focal point. Bravo, Swoosh.

Old man Dame dressed like Ass, surely trying to ingratiate himself with The Youth. Looking silly, man!

Giannis went a bit OD and outfitted his children in head-to-toe Giannis photos. We’re admittedly not fans of shameless self-promotion, but even the biggest braggarts have to agree that this is wildly over the top! Damn, dude. Giannis is really not shying away from loving himself lately!

In this episode of Stylists Gone Wild: Shai LOL. Always the worst dressed walking through like he’s a Fashion Gawd. Dressing to get noticed instead of Really Dressing. The pants and jacket are bad on their own, but the animal tail choker sets it apart as one of the Silliest Costumes the tunnel has ever seen. SGA is devoid of a Soldier’s Soul. You ain’t a killer, you still learnin’ how to walk!

Steph has been turning heads with all kinds of vintage heat and current kicks as he takes advantage of getting the boot from Under Armour to manufacture some off-court excitement. So what’s his choice for the biggest sneaker stage of the year? Klay Thompson Antas. All silver. Rare airball by the Splash Brothers.

Barack Obama’s been ramping up his public statements and appearances lately, perhaps finally realizing it’s time to Do Something about the deranged fascist in the White House. He sat courtside with the former First Lady as you’d expect, a fit of dark colors and slim proportions looking Very Proper for a man in his mid-60s, let alone a Politician (broadly known for dressing like Shit). We love the dark navy zip-up bomber jacket. We hate the no-show socks and the nondescript socks. He must’ve been on cloud nine when he got to dap up Devin Booker during the game.

Spike Lee left his typical Knicks fit at home and repped Palestine in LA. His sweater and bag looked like the iconic Palestinian keffiyeh, and the strap of the bag carried the Palestinian flag just in case there was any doubt about the inspiration. Free Palestine.

Kyrie Irving has been a bit controversial in recent years, to put it lightly. We appreciate that he’s been one of the few athletes addressing the Genocide in Gaza. He sported a PRESS tee at ASW, showing support for the journalists doing the important work embedded in Gaza and sharing the stories from the ground. Many have lost their lives simply for telling the truth of the war, and it’s wonderful to see someone with a massive platform standing with them.

You’re now up to speed on the latest from the battlefield. Use this intel wisely and pass it on to others who may need our guidance. We can’t win the war unless we’re in it together. TWR sticker packs available here.

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So many men, so little time. We can’t pick just one Soldier each week since there are so many Men of Valor out there, a wonderful statement to make considering the contrasting plethora of Disgraceful Assholes bringing shame to the rest of us. And that’s why we can’t just have on Enemy of the Week! The Infantry Analysis highlights the good, bad, and Shitty happening around the world of dudes, from Banging Fits to Ignorant Pricks and everything in between.

Salute to all the Commandos putting in work with Fits, Vibrations, Vulnerability, Authenticity, and Outspokenness 🫡 And Fuck You to all the Wack Idiots making the world a worse place 🖕

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SOLDIERS of the WEEK

Shai Gilgeous-Alexander

Shai hit the tunnel with Kate Moss as his inspiration, and we absolutely loved it. He pulled up in a leopard print coat, white Supreme box logo tee, baggy raw denim, and the new colorway of his signature Converse jawns in a fit lifted directly from the iconic Kate Moss photo tee released by Supreme way back when Shai was fresh out of diapers. Although it rides the line between outfit and Costume, we’re backing this one for the reverence to a legendary streetwear statement and the fact that he actually looks Cool for once.

Commendation: Shai Moss

Vince Palmer

Chicken Little is grown and ripping. His Shit always fits perfectly and his trick selection is extremely tasteful. This child prodigy is aging properly and no doubt about to blow very soon.

Commendation: Big Chicken

Kenneth Walker

Kenneth Walker left no doubt about who Owned Super Bowl LX. On the field, he ran all over that New England ass on his way to capturing the MVP award. Off the field, absolutely no one had more Business Casual Swag. He made it clear that he was there to get The Job done, and he certainly did just that.

Commendation: Most Valuable Playa

Timothee Chalamet

Tim has settled back into his natural form now that the Marty Supreme promo tour has concluded and he’s shifted gears to wooing The Academy. The ostentatious fits have been replaced with more tastefully loud choices. He recently appeared on French television in a stunning pairing of a canvas work vest atop a desert camo thermal. The host surprised him with the new 4th kit of his favorite club, Saint-Étienne. Big Tim kissed the badge and threw it on as soon as he could get his hands on it. Oh là là!

Commendation: French-American Legion

ENEMIES of the WEEK

Druski

This dumbass has more misses than hits lately. He dresses like an Idiot while spouting disrespect under the guise of comedy. A Thom Browne suit in 2026? This guy Sucks!

Danger Warning: Wackski

Kid Rock

Kid Rock headlined Turning Point USAs All American Halftime Show looking like a European tourist at Universal Studios (Orlando, of course). The embarrassment started before the show as TPUSA announced they couldn’t “live”stream on Twitter due to licensing issues. It continued when Kid Rock took the stage, lampooned for lip syncing his way through a bunch of songs that have been a joke for 20 years and others nobody’s even heard. The whole fiasco was made even funnier by the news that these Dumbasses pre-taped the show and still fucked the whole thing up. CK must be spinning in his grave.

Danger Warning: Baby Cowboy

Mack Hollins

The epitome of a Pick Me MF, Mack Hollins entered the tunnel at Super Bowl LX dressed like a Hannibal Lecter-esque prisoner, complete with shackles and a mask that look like it was made from a plastic milk jug. Shoeless, of course. He came into the game with 2 catches all postseason, making this whole ordeal genuinely incomprehensible. his patriots went on to having an all-time worst offensive performance and lose to the Seattle Seahawks. Hannibal Hollins finished the game with 4 catches for 78 yards and a touchdown. We’re sure he’s patting himself on the back for his personal performance(s) despite the Loss.

Danger Warning: foot fetish

Jake Lang

The most flagrant misuse of camo in history.

Danger Warning: Officer Doofy

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The Seahawks are Super Bowl Champions after beating the Shit out of the New England Patriots on Sunday. To honor their achievements and show love to our home town, it’s an All Emerald City edition of TWR featuring bangers from ETC Tacoma, Windthrow, and Filson. We also round up some headlines from the week and recommend a must-watch new documentary for Real Skate Soldiers. Go Hawks.

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TACTICAL UPDATES

HEADWEAR

Mt Tacoma Hat by ETC Tacoma

Real Ones know that every day feels like a Super Bowl win when the mountain is out. ETC Tacoma pays tribute to the most beautiful landmark in the Seattle–Tacoma–Bellevue, WA metropolitan statistical area. The Seattle area has a well-worn reputation for doom and gloom, rainy 300 days a year with a brief but Incredible break for summer. This is mostly media hype thanks to hyperbolic portrayals but we’ll allow it if it keeps people from moving there and continuing to suck the soul from the city that Microsoft started and Amazon accelerated. Indeed, there are a lot more Beautiful days in the PNW than you are led to believe and they’re all set off by that Gorgeous view of Mount Rainier. Other rocky locales surely have a similar monument, like Portland’s Mount Hood, and everyone surely believes that their mountain is the best. One thing we can all agree on is that mountains are wonderful, and snapback caps from local brands featuring embroidered mountains help you stay in that “Mountain’s Out” mentality no matter the weather or views.

OUTERWEAR

Yorgi Solotex Jacket by Windthrow

Windthrow burst on the scene in 2023 and quickly became one of Seattle’s dopest Outfitters, featuring a Banging Buildout to house all the most Cracking Outdoor Garms they could fit. From everyday staples like Gramicci and Keen to That Real Upscale Shit like Goldwin and Tarvas, Windthrow kits out The City in the best of the best. They initially dropped some great Shop Tees and have expanded their in-house program to include custom made-in-Seattle chalk bags from the Emerald City’s Karl Tolgu, the forever iconic Nalgene, and even their own custom apparel. The Yorgi Jacket encapsulates the Windthrow approach perfectly: Japanese fabric with extensive (and thoughtful) detailing on a garm that’s made to Get Your Ass Outside. The softshell Solotex fabric was whipped up in the lab to combine weather resistance, shape resilience, and stretch to get you moving. The half zip goes Deep to keep your temperature regulated whether you’re pushing through a 50-mile trail run or just running errands around town. It’s a unisex cut that can fit men and women alike. For Real Stunters, they have some matching pants, too. Windthrow was just shouted out as one of the 50 best clothing shops in America, so Get Familiar before they really Blow Up!

LOWER UNIFORM

Field Cargo Pants by Filson

Real OGs have been running Seattle’s Filson for years because it’s been one of the best producers of Top Drawer outdoor apparel for over 100 years. Filson has long carried the torch for unbeatable quality, long-lasting durability, and classic design in a field that’s getting more full of Crap by the day. Sure, the price points may make some Soldiers blush, but there is simply no denying that You Get What You Pay for when it comes to their goods. Again, this no longer holds true in all cases of modern garm purchases, but Filson continues to adhere to the principles that helped them last this long and maintain their sterling reputation. Not everything Filson makes is Our Vibration, but these classic cargos fit seamlessly into any Soldiers arsenal. They have a nice big, relaxed cut and are patterned after that real WWII style, none of this modern Shit. Midweight 9.5oz cotton and reinforced seat and legs ensure they’ll stand up to any Mission and last throughout the years. Rothcos are solid, but it’s worth jumping to the big leagues with a pair of Filsons.

FIELD NOTES

GIANNIS INSIDER TRADING

After lots of Rumors and Speculation about whether or not Giannis Antetokounmpo would be traded at the deadline, with plenty of fuel added by Giannis himself, the Bucks held on to the seemingly disgruntled superstar until at least the end of the season. Shortly after the deadline passed, Giannis announced his investment in Kalshi, a “prediction market” platform used for gambling on sports and global events like “Will the US kidnap Nicolas Maduro?” that somehow circumvents important gambling restrictions and, in tandem with Polymarket, has become a well-known haven for insider trading and Bad Actors. No surprise that both platforms tout Donald Trump Jr. as an important figure, sitting on the Board of Directors for Polymarket and named a Strategic Advisor for Kalshi. We miss the days of the NBA’s corruption being hidden deep inside the halls of Secaucus and carried out by referees and mobsters.

ACG IS BACK…AGAIN

The Swoosh has once again re-invented its hallowed All Conditions Gear line, which shouldn’t be a surprise for anyone that’s paid attention for a while. They’ve been sponsoring ultra athletes and the gnarliest events out there. Nike’s calling the new ACG An Outdoor-Performance Brand for Athletes Who Thrive in the Wild, focusing on trail running, hiking, and exploration. ACG is headlining Nike’s Winter Olympics garm program, with Insano Innovation cooked up in the Nike Sport Research Lab headlined by the adaptive functionality of the Air Milano Jacket. Most Soldiers don’t really need that level of cutting-edge technology, so thankfully they’re still pumping out Cracking garms for the average explorer.

DIVIDED WE FALL

The Winter Olympics are in full swing, and the United States of America is as divided as ever. You thought this Shit would galvanize us? Hell no! The Vice President is being booed and harassed as he makes his way to events around Milan and beyond. The American athletes are outspoken in their pronouncements of who they represent under the flag (hint: not every piece of Shit in America) and honestly answering questions about the abysmal situation back home. Social media is flooded with backers and naysayers as is to be expected. It’s early, but the Divided States of America currently sits 5th in the medal count.

ADDITIONAL INTELLIGENCE

THE LEGEND OF PHIL SHAO

Most skaters have probably heard a tale or two about, or at least the name of, Phil Shao. Thrasher just released a loving tribute to the man-who-would-be-editor that ripped every type of obstacle skateboarding has to offer and set the tone for the Bay Area’s birth and dominance of street skateboarding. It’s a must-watch.

You’re now up to speed on the latest from the battlefield. Use this intel wisely and pass it on to others who may need our guidance. We can’t win the war unless we’re in it together. TWR sticker packs available here.

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So many men, so little time. We can’t pick just one Soldier each week since there are so many Men of Valor out there, a wonderful statement to make considering the contrasting plethora of Disgraceful Assholes bringing shame to the rest of us. And that’s why we can’t just have on Enemy of the Week! The Infantry Analysis highlights the good, bad, and Shitty happening around the world of dudes, from Banging Fits to Ignorant Pricks and everything in between.

Salute to all the Commandos putting in work with Fits, Vibrations, Vulnerability, Authenticity, and Outspokenness 🫡 And Fuck You to all the Wack Idiots making the world a worse place 🖕

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SOLDIERS of the WEEK

Skate Dads

It’s a Weird Ass time to raise children given the state of the world in 2026, but at the same time it’s also the era of the Enlightened Father. The dad ranks have been growing recently, with Style Icons Tiago Lemos and Cyrus Bennet each recently welcoming newborns. Elsewhere, long-hair legend Charlie Birch ripped around Palace’s Manor Place skatepark with his son Buster in tow. The world might be turned upside down right now, but the next generation is in good hands with Real Soldiers like them bringing them up.

Commendation: Father Force

Lebron James

Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while. Red laces on the Goadomes is the proper maneuver.

Commendation: Lace Swap Legion

Pep Guardiola

Pep’s long been one of the most fashionable men on the sidelines, always cutting a sharp figure in well-fitting casual gear often set off by Hard Ass jackets from the likes of Stone Island and C.P. Company. He’s dominated every competition that matters in Europe and may go down in history as the greatest ever. This makes his constant advocacy that much more impressive in a world full of opinionless sports figures who wouldn’t take a stand on anything for fear of harming their paycheck. He made headlines last week for speaking at a charity event in support of Palestine, wearing a keffiyeh and passionately declaring, “I am not neutral. I am Palestinian.” He followed that up with unprompted comments in his pre-match press conference decrying the genocide in Palestine, Russia’s heinous war on Ukraine, the crisis in Sudan, and the despicable murders of Renee Good and Alex Pretti here in the US. A principled activist going back to his youth and playing days as a Catalan in Spain, Pep declared, “I see the images and, I’m sorry, it hurts, it hurts to me, that’s why in every position I can help, speaking up to be a better society — I will not change anything but I try — I will be there. All the time. It’s for my kids, for my family, for you, for all of you, for your families as well.” As much as we hate the club he manages, Pep is the best of the best in every possible way.

Commendation: Master and Commander

Brian O’Dwyer

Who knew you could pack so much fuckin’ Action into a 48 second edit? BOD came through with Tuff Fits and Hammer Clips in his new one for Venture. Streets are saying he might be switching up his board sponsor. Say it ain’t so!

Commendation: Damage Division

GRAMMY WINNERS

Kendrick Lamar

Chanel tux with accessories going Insano. Excellence in every way.

Skepta

Skepta and Casablanca are always a perfect link.

Bad Bunny

The man of the moment crushed the red carpet and won album of the year in custom Schiaparelli.

Jim-E Stack

Herringbone tweed trousers! And an ‘ICE OUT’ pin! Never heard of this dude but he pulled off a Real Slapper!

Justin Bieber

Baggy Balenciaga with the ‘ICE OUT’ pin.

ENEMIES of the WEEK

Darren Aronofsky

Darren Aronofsky has made some great films that highlight the plight of the human condition in excruciating detail. That’s what makes his turn to AI even more surprising. He just released a new project combining AI slop animation and professional voice actors to tell the tales of our country’s founding - On This Day... 1776. Unbelievable Loser Shit! The groundbreaking achievement of technological enshittification currently boasts an impressive 1/10 rating on IMDB.

Danger Warning: likely to make AI deepfake of you

Mauricio Pochettino

Mauricio Pochettino washed out of the Premier League after failed stints at Tottenham and Chelsea. He’s since taken charge of the US Men’s National Team as all eyes are upon them in this summer’s World Cup. He didn’t even need to guide them to qualification since they’re automatically in as one of the host nations, yet it’s certainly not looking great for the Argentine! He has the worst record for a full time manager going back to the mid-90s, his style of play doesn’t really suit his squad, and he’s been bending over backward to salute Fuhrer Trump in the lead up. This week he criticized his own player after Tim Weah spoke out against skyrocketing ticket costs that are leaving fans unable to attend the World Cup in their own backyard, effectively telling him to Shut Up and Dribble. He wouldn’t want to cross the Fuhrer and his good homie Gianni Infantino, the head of FIFA! Just last month, Pochettino posted a photo of himself and those two DipShits, leaving no doubt as to who he answers to and what motivates him. It’s gonna be a very weird summer.

Danger Warning: bootlicking choke artist

Chet Holmgren

Chet Holmgren dresses like a Big Dumb Moron, and it turns out he speaks like one too! When asked about the ongoing turmoil in his hometown of Minneapolis, where Trump’s Gestapo continues to terrorize children and murder protestors, this idiot said, “That’s a very loaded topic obviously. I don’t want to get into the opinions and politics of everything … I wasn’t there. I don’t have a full picture of everything going on so I can’t really speak on details … I’m wishing safety for everybody.” No wonder Wemby hates him so much!

Danger Warning: all height no heart

Brett Ratner

The late 90s/early 2000s director of classics like Rush Hour and the 3rd X-Men movie faded into obscurity back in 2017 after a laundry list of disgusting sexual assault allegations surfaced from at least 6 women. Like any cunning deviant does, he bided his time and cozied up to the right people for an eventual comeback when the cultural tides turned. That moment is now, as Ratner has re-emerged as the triumphant director of the propaganda film Melania, Amazon’s $75M ode to Trump that paid the First Lady $28M and ensured Bezos and his associated businesses remain in the Fuhrer’s good graces. Hot on the heels of Melania’s box office bombing release, Ratner appeared in the fresh batch of 3.5 million Epstein files. Brett and Epstein were photographed on a couch embracing a couple of women (faces redacted). In a just world he would be jettisoned back into whatever ShitHole he’s been hiding in the past 10 years, but he’s already in pre-production for another Rush Hour movie at the Fuhrer’s behest and nothing happens to criminal monsters in the good ol’ US of A. He’s also good homies with Mr. Genocide Benjamin Netanyahu, so he’s surely got all the backing he needs to get back to work no matter what else might surface.

Danger Warning: Weinstein Lite

GRAMMY LOSERS

Justin Bieber

The red carpet was good, performing in his undies was straight up weird.

Jack Antonoff

Great look for the streets! This is the Grammy’s, bro!

Harry Styles

We back trying Something Different, and Harry’s usually very good at that, but this look Really Sucks!

Jelly Roll

Ozempic has this dude looking like Post Malone’s evil uncle that may or may not be in the Epstein files. He’s dressed like Shit, those veneers are so silly, and he gave a BullShit answer when asked about the current state of our Union. Yeah, we agree, you are just a Dumb Redneck.

Pharrell and Clipse

LOL.

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Head-to-toe selections for the tasteful skater and skate-appreciators from 35th North, CCS, and Asics Skateboarding! Nostalgia isn’t dead! New Palace! SINNERS! We’re ‘bout that action this week. Go Hawks.

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TACTICAL UPDATES

UPPER UNIFORM

Helmet T-Shirt by 35th North

The Shop Tee is the ultimate garm to Rep Your Set or a town you’ve been lucky to visit or a banging ass graphic you’re just plain stoked on. What’s better than a Shop Tee? A Shop Tee repping the local sports teams, whether that’s drawing inspiration from a team’s colors or fully bootlegging logos. The Seattle Seahawks take on the New England Patriots (derogatory) in the Super Bowl this Sunday, and 35th North has a timely run of tees and hoodies to celebrate the occasion. They ran back the classic football helmet graphic featuring the iconic Tron logo in Hawks blue and green, perfect to rep The Town or The Hawks. No matter where you’re from, we can all agree that it would be better for Humanity if the Seahawks win their second Super Bowl this weekend than witnessing a 7th for The Evil Empire. Brady and Belichick might be gone but New England is still owned by Robert Kraft, a nasty piece of Shit that was caught soliciting prostitution at a day spa in 2019 (an incident mentioned in the latest release of Epstein documents) and is close pals with Fuhrer Trump (who named his wife to the revamped board of sycophants tasked with destroying reputation of The Kennedy Center). In conclusion: Fuck the Patriots, Go Hawks, Long Live 35th North.

LOWER UNIFORM

Baggy Taper Denim Jeans by CCS

The baggy boom tapered off in the past year or two, but the CCS Baggy Taper is still booming because it hits every note perfectly. Yeah, they’re baggy, but they’re not Insano Big like some of the others that spawned from the popularity of Big Boys and Butter Philly Santosuossos. The taper makes sure they your kicks the respect they deserve, rather than swallow them up like some of the wannabe JNCOs some dudes were running in the early 2020s. We hear Ryan Lay was instrumental in their design, taking inspiration from classic Silvertabs and the like. And if anybody knows pants, it’s Ryan. The current selection has 10 different colorways at an incredibly reasonable $59.95 (a little more for the Real Tree camo jawns, of course) and they even offer different inseams to make sure every Soldier can find the perfect fit. With a team full of Style Gawds and hooking up the next generation from Portland Hittas to Genesis Rippas, we’re very much feeling what CCS is getting into at the moment!

FOOTWEAR

Leggerezza FB by Asics Skateboarding

We’ll put our biases on the table with this one: we’re a sucker for a football (soccer) silhouette made for the streets and we’re still obsessed with Gino Iannucci. Put ‘em together and you’ve got our undivided attention. The Asics squad got one with the Leggerezza FB, a footy-inspired silhouette marketed by the legendary style of Gino fuckin’ Iannucci. One of our favorite shoes ever is the Nike SB Air Zoom FC, another footy crep retrofitted for skateboarding and repped by the Long Island Legend himself. In fact, one of our greatest moments in Copping was grabbing his FC colorway the day before release at Goods (RIP) in Seattle as a wee high school lad. The insoles went on to inspire a tattoo decades later, and we were fortunate to be gifted the promotional scarf made with the collection by the Good Homie in a moment that compounded our love for the shoe. We’re not saying the Leggerezza captures that same magic, but it’s a goddamn beautiful looking skate shoe that looks great on everyone and, according to our sources, skates great as well. Showing up on Gino’s feet in some banging photos is simply a cherry on top.

FIELD NOTES

90s NOSTALGIA CAN STILL BE GOOD

We’re all getting pretty tired of the nostalgia industrial complex lately, but every once in a while it still hits Hard As Fuck. Nike tapped back into the chaotic styles of the 90s for a new training range for Chelsea, remixing their iconic ‘94-’96 away kit made famous by captain Dennis Wise and European legends Ruud Gullitt and Mark Hughes. The range includes a training top done up in the same style as the original Coors-sponsored kit, a full tracksuit (with hood!) for The Lads, a t-shirt, and a GOALKEEPER TOP for to give some love to the unsung heroes at the back. Much of the nostalgic BullShit needs to end, but keep the football stuff coming!

PALACE LOOKBOOK

Palace’s spring season is upon us and the lookbook is Banging. We’ve got smoking skulls, vicious dogs (and a nod to Givenchy?), and a couple lovely jackets, just to name a few highlights. The 90s Fiorentina-inspired football top is an absolute Must. And we’re stoked to see some Shawn Powers in the mix! The first wave drops this Friday (February 6th).

ADDITIONAL INTELLIGENCE

SINNERS

Great film. Watch it. Best Picture.

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So many men, so little time. We can’t pick just one Soldier each week since there are so many Men of Valor out there, a wonderful statement to make considering the contrasting plethora of Disgraceful Assholes bringing shame to the rest of us. And that’s why we can’t just have on Enemy of the Week! The Infantry Analysis highlights the good, bad, and Shitty happening around the world of dudes, from Banging Fits to Ignorant Pricks and everything in between.

Salute to all the Commandos putting in work with Fits, Vibrations, Vulnerability, Authenticity, and Outspokenness 🫡 And Fuck You to all the Wack Idiots making the world a worse place 🖕

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SOLDIERS of the WEEK

Familia Skate Shop

Familia’s one of the best in the motherfuckin’ business when it comes to shop graphics adorning garms and decks. Their home turf of Minnesota is under siege by the Trump Regime at the moment, its streets occupied by the Fuhrer’s secret police and citizens being murdered at in broad daylight. Many businesses shy away from sensitive topics, but Familia Skate Shop has been leading from the front since the early moments of the DHS onslaught of their hometown. From speaking out against the presence of ICE in the city to participating in the statewide shutdown to offering free skating at their indoor park to provide desperately needed community in a time of need, they’re giving voice to the issues and leaving no doubt where they stand. We’d expect nothing less from one of the best. Cop something from them to keep them doing the Important Shit.

Commendation: Ice Breakers

Celta Vigo

Celta Vigo striker Borja Iglesias has been a longtime victim of homophobic abuse since he began painting his nails black to support BLM back in 2020. He has continued painting his nails in defiance of the slurs, bringing more light to the mistreatment of the LGBTQ+ community and making other statements with his polish. He was hounded with slurs and threats during and after a recent win over Sevilla. In response, Celta Vigo’s supporters and players rallied around their star Soldier and turned out to their next match with Rayo Vallecano with painted nails aplenty. This was a wonderful show of solidarity with the LGBTQ+ community, a statement that there is no place for homophobia in football, and a sad reminder of how far we still have to go to make sure all human beings are treated with respect and love.

Commendation: The Allies

Charlie McAvoy

Despite being unbelievably Not tapped into hockey and its associated “culture,” we’re covering an NHLer for the second week in a row. Unlike last week’s Piece of Shit, this week we have an absolute fucking Soldier to salute. In the wake of HBO’s hit Heated Rivalry, teams taking the ice in support of Pride have been fielding questions on the topic. Charlie McAvoy of the Boston Bruins was asked about his team’s “Hockey Is For Everyone” night and the popularity of the show, to which he replied, “I’ve heard so much support from people within those communities, that this means a lot to them. So it’s the least that we can do to show our support and show that we’re all on the same team.” Most athletes take a more cautious approach to public comments on sensitive issues, but McAvoy has been a public advocate as far back as 2023 when he marched in the Boston Pride parade. Respect.

Commendation: Decent Defenseman

Andrew Luecke

Cultural commentary, fakie flips, and banging fits. Andrew brings it all. Most importantly, he’s a father that’s undertaking the important job of raising the next generation to be Good and Kind and Loving. There’s nothing more critical to The War Effort than that.

Commendation: Swag Daddy

Matt Militano

We kept confusing Matt Militano with Matt Milligan for way too long. Both are undeniably sick! While Milligan was recently inducted into the Florida Skateboard Hall of Fame for his storied career in the 90s and 2000s, Militano is the currently dominating technical genius that’s pumping out stunning footage for Sci Fi Fantasy and Cons. He’s been putting in the Hard Work for over a decade and we’re glad he’s finally getting the coverage he deserves for those downright shocking manual and ledge combinations. The new part for Free Skate Mag had it all, but the wallride variations had us running it back early and often. Militano’s been bubbling to the surface for years so watch out for him to blow in 2026.

Commendation: Courageous Combinations

ENEMIES of the WEEK

Puka Nacua

Took the L after showing up like this. It’s been a weird season for the wide receiver, where he led the league in receptions and made the Pro Bowl on the field but met plenty of controversy off of it. He livestreamed in the locker room, a major violation, and lied about it when confronted. Then he went on a Nazi streamer’s stream and promised to do an antisemitic touchdown dance. Nacua later said he didn’t know the gesture was antisemitic, but the damage was done. Perhaps next year he’ll just stay away from anything related to streaming, and also get a better stylist.

Danger Warning: weak stream

Nick Fuentes

The worst asshole on the internet has been working hard lately to support deceased pedophile sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein. He’s been debating whether the ages of Epstein’s victims actually constitute pedophilia, in line with previous comments he’s made about favoring women under the age of 18 (let us be clear: that is pedophilia). His most recent play was stealing Epstein’s look, donning the iconic quarterzip worn by the dead piece of shit that proudly displayed his monogrammed initials. Nick’s says USA, of course, but do not be fooled. The right has been coming together to sweep the Epstein situation under the rug and shift focus elsewhere following the groundswell of support and Congressional mandate to release the documents late last year. Some, like Fuentes, are even beginning to speak about Epstein in positive tones! For Fuentes, everything is just treated as a meme and every opportunity for attention and shock is a good one. For the mainstream, they just pivot with each move of the cult leader, who is no longer even mentioning the Epstein situation in hopes that it goes away. We can’t let these cosplaying losers win! Tell them to release the files and stop dressing like Shit!

Danger Warning: Nazi pedophile

Craig Conover

Craig is another in a long line of Bravo men with zero self awareness and even fewer brain cells that drive us to tune in and hate watch year after year. Craig is always on the verge of a tantrum that would make a toddler blush, or he’s preaching some Shit he knows absolutely nothing about to a group of men that are all infinitely more intelligent than him (which isn’t saying a whole lot for them). On this week’s Southern Charm, Craig talked about the importance of taking accountability, which is critically important but something this MotherFucker hasn’t done a single time in his entire disastrous life! Elsewhere in the episode, he goes on a first date with Charley shortly after leading on and ditching Salley and a birthday dinner for Austen, his favorite target to bully and malign both to his face and behind his back. The dinner quickly devolves to chaos the moment Austen asks Craig to take accountability for treating him like Shit. Shocker, Craig declines and they end up trading insults and exposing each others’ secrets and declare their friendship over. Austen is not without fault here and should’ve pulled some punches, but who could blame a person who’s been bullied by Craig fuckin’ Conover for years. Craig is currently #1 in the Bravo’s Biggest Idiots Power Rankings.

Danger Warning: crybaby Craig

Deandre Ayton

Lakers fans spent the early season convincing themselves that Deandre Ayton was the missing piece and laughing at how easily they scooped him up after being bought out by Portland. We told ya! Deandre Ayton is only happy when he’s the focal point. Lebron and the Lakers are now seeing first hand why the former #1 pick got dumped by Phoenix and Portland despite so much promise. We’re claiming he might be the biggest bust ever as the #1 pick because his work ethic is the reason he never reaches the heights he should, rather than injuries or lack of talent or any other stereotypical reason. Fits are decent, though.

Danger Warning: external motivation only

Barack Obama

Despite the collapse of American democracy at the hands of his successor as President, this dude does nothing but tweet lots of words with no actual meaning and link to PODCASTS about “what’s at stake.” Also, Vox articles. Like it or not, Barack Obama’s words could do more to activate the masses right now than just about anyone else in the country and he’s choosing to keep speaking like a politician (derogatory) and do nothing. Nobody’s coming to save us but US.

Danger Warning: wolf in sheep’s tan suit

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This week we’re highlighting garms by brands that have been making Banging Shit for decades - 3sixteen, FTC, and Baker. In other news, the football pitch is the new runway, the Super Bowl turns antifa, our pal George has a new book, and we found a podcast for the Real Sneaker Freakers. Fuck ICE.

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TACTICAL UPDATES

HEADWEAR

Waxed Canvas Baseball Cap by 3sixteen

3sixteen has been crafting banging American-made garms with custom fabrics for over 2 decades. Their minimalist aesthetic allows them to really dive into textiles and detailing, resulting in meticulously-crafted apparel featuring quintessentially American workwear and military design language. This waxed canvas ballcap is indicative of what you get from everything 3sixteen produces: gorgeous textile, outstanding fit, subtle branding, and made to fade and change with years of wear. Waxed canvas is an old-school water repeller, bringing function to the form as 3sixteen always does. We love the deep crown, finding them harder and harder to find in today’s cap marketplace. Is it us, or is everything getting shallow? The gunmetal hardware perfectly complements the Burly Ass 10oz canvas material for a very military-style look. It’s a superb cap, and at only $55 for a Made in USA garm, it’s an absolute fuckin’ steal. Don’t miss out on adding this into the rain-wear repertoire because there aren’t many water-shielding caps out there and lord knows you don’t want to be caught out with a goofy umbrella.

OUTERWEAR

Waterproof 3L Mountain Jacket by FTC

We made our first pilgrimage to San Francisco way back in 2013. It was a romantic getaway with our girlfriend (now Wifey), so we saw all the sights. The Full House house, Coit Tower, The Golden Gate Bridge, the Mission, all the usual BullShit. We also made it to Haight-Ashbury and the vaunted FTC skate shop. We couldn’t head home without a souvenir from the clubhouse responsible for much of the birth of modern skateboarding and skate film making. Figuring we’d grab a shop tee or cap, we ended up smitten with a waterproof rain jacket. We were taken aback with the quality of materials and construction, a garm reminiscent of something from Supreme rather than a straight-ahead (at the time) skate shop. After hemming and hawing about the price tag, which we can’t recall but obviously a little higher than we wanted to drop, we made the purchase and headed on to our next stop, Amoeba Music. The years have passed, and FTC’s apparel program has simply gotten better and better (and grown to locations from Japan to Spain). They recently dropped a beauty of a collab with Nanga, but our eyes immediately fell to the North Face-inspired mountain jacket. Tapping into their 90’s reputation, this banger comes in two very clean colorways as well as a digicamo Freaker, boasting three layer waterproofing and 3M thinsulate for warmth. It’s an absolute Cracker, and backed by decades of Steez that FTC’s known for.

LOWER UNIFORM

Field Boss Double Knee Carpenter Pants by Baker Skateboards

These have been our go-to pants for well over a year. They’re Perfect in every way. The heavy-duty canvas is built to stand up to the burliest skate sessions, and we’ve tested ‘em out everywhere from the dusty confines of Tempe to the rough terrain of NYC. They also do the job here in the human-Shit filled streets of Portland. They ain’t fancy, but the double knee looks great and the carpenter pockets and loop bring the utility you need when you’re on the go. Ours have developed a worn patina through the beatings and washes they’ve taken, becoming more interesting and unique as time goes by. If the Baker team catches this, we’d love to see them in another colorway or two! Denim would be Very Dope as well! Thank you for your attention to this matter!

FIELD NOTES

FUCK ICE

We can’t find the words to properly express our disgust at the Trump Regime’s occupation of the state of Minnesota and his gestapo’s murders of innocent citizens. Rest in Peace to Renee Good and Alex Pretti.

ALD FOR NOTTINGHAM FOREST

Nottingham Forest might not be much to look at on the pitch at the moment, but they’re getting there in style dressed in bespoke tailoring from Aime Leon Dore! We love targeting ALD, one of the brands that helped Fashion jump the shark and bring it’s Lowkey Chill Vibes to a mass (and wack) audience. But kitting out a football club is undeniably Sick, especially when it’s not one of the major ones. And Nottingham Forest, despite boasting as many European Cups (2) as the Premier League table’s current top 3 COMBINED (Villa and City have each won one), are anything but a major club. They’re embroiled in constant turmoil this season and find themselves dangerously close to the drop zone, which may not be an ideal time for Teddy Santis to debut their co-branded garms, but it’s also a great time to treat the lads to a nice suit and make them feel a little better about themselves.

ACG FOR INTER MILAN

Elsewhere in Footy Fashions, Inter Milan debuted a new 4th kit featuring the iconic branding and colorstory of Nike’s ACG line. Unlike ALD, this will actually take the pitch as Nike is the official supplier of Inter. It seems we should prepare to see ACG just about everywhere this year as Nike brings the line more to the forefront of Athletic Pursuits, here as a football kit and next month to be seen all over the Nike athletes at the Winter Olympics. We hope that they can retain the Shit that makes ACG special as it grows to encompass more of the Hardcore Athlete set!

GREEN DAY AT THE SUPER BOWL

The Super Bowl entertainment organizers are truly the greatest trolls on earth right now, recently announcing that Green Day will be providing pre-game entertainment for The Big Game. The East Bay icons have been vocal critics of Trump and the reich, as has outspoken anti-ICE halftime performer Bad Bunny. MAGA melted down completely over Bad Bunny’s selection, terrified that the Puerto Rican will dare sing songs in Spanish when he takes the stage. Green Day was the last straw for the Fuhrer, who announced he won’t be in attendance because of the woke artists chosen to bring the noise. Think Green Day will still play American Idiot?

ADDITIONAL INTELLIGENCE

PEOPLE AND THE SKATEBOARDS THEY BELONG TO

Portland Comrade George Cutright just released a photography book called People And The Skateboards They Belong To. As the title states, it’s a lovely compilation of George’s terrific portraits from sessions near and far highlighting skaters and their setups. Pick one up to support the Good Homies making Good Art!

NIKE SKATEBOARDING: THE UNTOLD STORY

We’ve had this on our to-do list for a while but finally dove in thanks to a reminder from Templeton on a recent episode of Mostly Skateboarding. Nike Skateboarding: The Untold Story is a two-part podcast with some of the key figures behind the rise of Nike SB, and offers a rare inside look at the early days and immense success of SB. It’s a must watch if you’re into industry tales, sneakers, or the glory days of early 2000s skating.

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Each month we’re highlighting what we’re Really Running so you know what’s hitting hardest. We always have our favorite garms on Heavy Rotation.

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HEAVY ROTATION - January 2026

Loosey Ishod Wair Official Game Belt

Pro belt for the GOAT in that iconic basketball leather like those notebooks you had as a kid. Hell yeah. Loosey loves you, Loosey loves me, Loosey loves Us.

Baker Skateboards Field Boss Double Knee Carpenter Pants

A damn near perfect pair of pants.

Labor Skateboards Corduroy Hat

Copped at the Brooklyn shop on the way to House of Vans.

Village Psychic x New Balance Numeric Tiago Lemos 1010

3 of the best link up.

Huf x Nike Air Max 1

RIP Keith Hufnagle.

Vintage Polo Down Vest

Been running this for almost two decades.

Comfort Colors t-shirt (black)

Could live the rest of our life with only these tees.

Space Program Orbit Hoodie

A beautiful blank and puff print. Oh baby!

Nike ACG Smith Summit Cargo Pants

Pants and shorts in one.

Snow Peak X-Pac Nylon Waist Bag

The best way to carry all your Shit.

Sexhippies Insulated Snap Flannel Shirt

Exquisite form and function.

Palace Skateboards x Rapha Crocs

Been hitting the hot tub, cold plunge, sauna routine at the gym. These keep the nasty funk off our feet and tell the Average Joes that we’re not one of them.

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So many men, so little time. We can’t pick just one Soldier each week since there are so many Men of Valor out there, a wonderful statement to make considering the contrasting plethora of Disgraceful Assholes bringing shame to the rest of us. And that’s why we can’t just have on Enemy of the Week! The Infantry Analysis highlights the good, bad, and Shitty happening around the world of dudes, from Banging Fits to Ignorant Pricks and everything in between.

Salute to all the Commandos putting in work with Fits, Vibrations, Vulnerability, Authenticity, and Outspokenness 🫡 And Fuck You to all the Wack Idiots making the world a worse place 🖕

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SOLDIERS of the WEEK

Andrew Callaghan

Andrew’s been making waves as a member of the “New Media” for a long time now, criss-crossing the country originally on “All Gas No Brakes” and now doing it under the banner of “Channel 5.” He’s a thoughtful and inquisitive journalist, tries to be fair and direct and give his subjects a real shot to tell their story in their words. He certainly doesn’t shy away from his personal beliefs, but he doesn’t necessarily let those beliefs color his stories or who he covers. Most recently, he linked up with Nick Shirley to hear straight from the source all about the recent controversy in Minnesota that’s fueled Trump’s fire to burn the city to the ground. Andrew gave him the rope, and plenty of opportunities not to do it, but Shirley hung himself. His baffling idiocy couldn’t be hidden and their conversation was full of tremendous quotes from one of the dumbest human beings ever to have built a platform on social media. We’re grateful to Andrew for exposing the bad, highlighting the good, and covering so many things that otherwise wouldn’t get the attention they deserve.

Commendation: Capitol Hill Commander

Anthony Black

Mike Vallely VS. 4 random ocks? Nope, it’s Anthony Black vs. 4 Memphis Grizzlies.

Commendation: Three Six Mafia

Karim Callender

Karim Callender has the most infectious smile in skateboarding. That energy translates to his skating, his fits, and everything else he does. It’s a cold world, but his new feature in Monster Children is a good reminder to choose Happiness. This quote really hit for us: “‘I try to laugh as much as I can, be hyped and just try to push myself to remember shit can be so much worse. The most random shit gets me pumped, I really just remember to talk to strangers, smile, or whatever. It really works.” Excited to see more of him in 2026.

Commendation: Leader of the Smile Squadron

Azeez Al-Shaair

Most athletes shy away from taking a stand lately, especially NFL players after the way Colin Kaepernick was blackballed for daring to protest. Texans linebacker Azeez Al-Shaair is not one of those silent athletes. Al-Shaair recently took an $11K fine for writing “STOP THE GENOCIDE” on his eyeblack during a playoff win over the Steelers. He was threatened with being kicked out of the game if he did it the following week against the Patriots. He’s been a staunch supporter of Palestine, repping the cause on his cleats and speaking out against the ongoing genocide. Earlier this year, he was quoted as saying, “If my platform can bring even a little hope to families in Palestine, then that is what I want to use it for.” In response to the fine, “But things that are going on makes people uncomfortable. Imagine how those people feel. I think that’s the biggest thing. I have no affiliation, no connection to these people, other than the fact that I’m a human being.” This is Ultimate Soldier Shit.

Commendation: Righteous Ranger

Eamon Durkan

The skating is top notch, but we were struck by Eamon Durkan’s fits in Double E, the new Orchard edit with fellow Sexhippies rider Eddie Vargas. We’re big fans of Skaters in Jordans, so that front tail in Carmine 6s had our jaw on the floor! Greatness.

Commendation: Swag Patrol

ENEMIES of the WEEK

Shayne Davis

The Vanderpump Rules reboot has a lot of the same magic as the original run: really dumb people with no self awareness unafraid to make a fool of themselves for a national television audience. Shayne doesn’t even work at Sur, but the producers must’ve included him anyway since he’s the star of the show for all the wrong reasons. He has a truly tragic background, raised by drug addict parents and eventually getting strung out himself. He was shot and almost killed as a teenager. The sympathy dries up once you see him use these stories as a means to an end (banging chicks). He plays a character at all times, the quintessential 90s heartthrob, down to the hair and accent and little chain. It’s like he’s trying to play Evil Zach Morris in a porno parody of Saved By The Bell. He’s absolutely insufferable and lets his dick do all his thinking. He’s perfect for VPR, and we’re excited to see what other cringe BullShit he gets into this season.

Danger Warning: cover your drink and wrap it up

Declan Rice

The Marty Supreme jackets died out the minute the film hit theaters, so leave it to doofy Declan Rice to pull up to the NBA UK game on January 18th rocking one with a Supreme hat to go with it. The Premier League’s most sauceless player certainly didn’t get the jacket from Timothée himself, who’s a football fanatic that’s taken in the sights and sounds of Stamford Bridge and on wax as preferring The Blues in the Prem. This is actually the second time poor Declan has sported a Marty Supreme jacket despite Chalamet’s absolute hatred of the midfielder. Embarrassing! Come on Chelsea!

Danger Warning: likely to bottle it

Matthew Tkachuk

Nothing coming from the swamp of Florida should come as a surprise in this day and age, yet we were still left dumbfounded to see the unbelievable display of weakness from the Florida Panthers, winners of the Stanley Cup, as they made their visit to the White House to celebrate with the President. Matthew Tkachuk took the mic and did everything but fondle the Fuhrer’s balls as he showered him with embarrassing praise. “I want to say on behalf of the whole organization and mainly the players, we are so honored to be here. Being an American, I know I said it last year, but nothing beats this. I’m so proud to be an American so proud to be here with you and everybody else,” Tkachuk said. A fella on twitter recently compiled the data and found the NHL to be 43.9% Republican, second only to the MLB at 53.7% (!!!), Tkachuk is at the elder end of Gen Z, and Florida is a Shitstain of a place, and the Panthers owner was nominated to serve as Secretary of the Army in the first Trump administration, so all of this should be expected. Yet we still cannot believe the throngs of laughably wack dudes lining up to fellate a man who is as dumb pathetic as Donald Fucking Trump. The Panthers first game after the White House visit was a matchup with the Carolina Hurricanes. They lost 9-1.

Danger Warning: Florida Man Boy

Carson Beck

The University of Miami student athlete was asked about his classes while doing press in the leadup to his team’s appearance in the College Football Playoff Championship Game™️. “No class. I graduated two years ago,” he responded with a smirk. In a bygone era, you would be in deep Shit for saying the quiet part out loud like this. This could be one of those “Don’t Hate The Player, Hate The Game” situations given the state of college athletics following the introduction of NIL and the transfer portal, but nah. We’re hating the player. Beck graduated from Georgia two whole years ago. This was his SIXTH season of football, and Georgia fans did not like the way he left their program to transfer to Miami and pick up $3 million in NIL with it. Perhaps Karma came for him in the end, as his game-ending interception handed the title to Indiana. Peace out, Dickhead!

Danger Warning: Sid the sloth

Kyle Cooke

Amanda Batula finally got sick of his BullShit, and Kyle Cooke is now a single guy on the prowl after they announced their divorce on Instagram Stories recently. This won’t really change anything for Kyle, of course, who’s well known for cheating on Amanda, constantly hitting on women, getting comatose drunk, and acting like a Fuckin’ buffoon for the past 10 seasons on Bravo’s Summer House. The failed entrepreneur-cum-DJ is now free to do all the Shit he did as a married man without an annoying wife to get all worked up. We’re glad Kyle, age 43, can lean into his desired life of a 20-something bachelor with horrendous fits and a matching unhealthy relationship with alcohol. Sky’s the limit, bro!

Danger Warning: send it at your own risk

You’re now up to speed on the latest from the battlefield. Use this intel wisely and pass it on to others who may need our guidance. We can’t win the war unless we’re in it together. TWR sticker packs available here.

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