Ain't No Such Thing As Halfway Dressed
And since a man can't make one / He has no right to tell a woman when and where to create one / So will the real men get up? / I know you're fed up, ladies, but keep ya head up
Gear up in Real Outdoor Shit from Gramicci and 18 East link up with a banger from Skateboard Mystic Theories of Atlantis to enrobe your body, mind, and soul in the wonders of Mother Earth and her Magical Secrets. Leave the Sacai x Carhartt shit for valor stealers. Plus, Gifted Hater enters another echelon of Fucking Up The Industry.
TUESDAY MEANS WAR
TACTICAL UPDATES
UPPER UNIFORN
ESP Longsleeve Polo Shirt by Theories
If the Wacko Maria jawn was just too wacko for you, we’re back with something a little more subdued (and quite a bit more affordable) from the Good Fellas at Theories. This one’s got a little New Jersey feel to it, like something you might’ve seen rocked outside Satriale’s Pork Store. Skateboarding still has a power struggle going on between Ostentatious and Chill, and this lands smack dab in the middle for the ones who can see Multiple Dimensions. From afar it’s a nice black long sleeve polo with a brown pattern, but up close it’s a revelation of blue and gold fireworks reminiscent of faraway stars in the vast openness of space. The message is always hidden in the details and concealed in the depths, as any longtime fans of Josh Stewart and Theories of Atlantis already know. The message here? Who knows. Very dope shirt, though!
LOWER UNIFORM
Corduroy G-Pant by Gramicci
It’s impossible to crown The Perfect Pant, but the Gramicci Pant has every right to claim it. Originally released in 1982, the G-Pant is truly a do everything pant. “Freedom of Movement” is the Gramicci refrain, specializing in Banging garms for climbing rocks and other gnarly adventures one could get up to in The Great Outdoors. A certain subset of Ball Knowers still obsess over these things after 43 years for a simple reason - they go. The gusseted crotch gives your gams the freedom to blast a kickflip, reach up for that next notch on the climbing wall, or run from the cops at top speed. Whatever athletic endeavor may arise, the G-Pant keeps you unrestricted and ready for action. As with most climbing pants, it has a built-in belt closure to keep things secure at all times. A relaxed fit makes them another go-between garm that looks great in any setting and on any Soldier - run a khaki pair for those times you need a chino pant, they got em in wacky collabs for the Freaks, and they bring ‘em out in seasonally-necessary fabrics like these corduroy bangers to keep you warm and Stunting all year round. As the warm weather subsides and the Elements set in, wrap your legs in the wonder of the G-Pant and stay your ass Outside!
FOOTWEAR
ASICS Gel-Nimbus 10.1 by 18 East
We’ve been following the rise of 18 East from the jump, taken in by the meticulous attention to detail, novel approach to textile sourcing and manufacturing, and motherfuckin’ attitude of founder Antonio Ciognoli. The first garm that scratched our worm brain was an Alphanumeric graphic rip and we were smitten forever. 18 East has a love affair with the one-of-a-kind materials found in India, also manufacturing most garms in the same place and specifically integrating local handwork into their garms. That means real people making your clothes, not just machines and not just the Same Old Bullshit. They strive to produce garms that mean something and represent someone, whether that’s the maker or the wearer. When we heard about an Asics collab, we were a bit skeptical. Asics is everywhere at the moment, some for good reason and some just because of the State of Sneakers, and we’ve seen some real duds. Well, they obviously called up Antonio and said, “do your thing, G!” because this shoe is 99% 18 East with just a hint of Asics. Unsurprisingly, even the copy can’t be beat, so we’ll let them tell you about them: “Inspired by the dichotomy of fast and slow, we substituted many of the NIMBUS 10.1’s performance-focused synthetic elements with unfinished, natural textiles like raw edged cotton canvas, hemp blended mesh and jacquard cotton. These organic materials lend a subtly slow, handmade feeling to ASICS’ swift running silhouette. Because speed comes in many forms.” Word.
FIELD NOTES
SOLDIER OF THE WEEK
Joa Field
We’ve criticized Gifted Hater in the past for some takes that we felt were punching down a bit, but his recent ode to The Dinosaurs of Skateboarding was a reminder that Joa Field is one of the most important voices in the entire history of skateboarding. Never have we had someone with such a large platform use it for (primarily) Good. ‘Extinction Event’ took the OGs of skateboarding to task for overstaying their welcome and milking their status for every last drop at the expense of the next generation and industry as a whole. We wholly do not back the inclusion of The Boss (Yes, we’re biased. Yes, he’s still wrong.), but the rest of the takedown of skateboarding in 2025 was precise and surgical and bulletproof per usual. Taking aim at Zionism and MAGA Dipshits were right up our street as bleeding heart residents of the Portland Warzone. His read on Edgelord is truly incredible, and the connections he draws to the ongoing GENOCIDE in Gaza are straightforward and disgusting. He said he’s working on one specific to The Boonies Collection of Misfit Toys and their recent addition of Jason Ellis, going deeper on Tim Pool’s activities as a Traitor to the United States of America and the weird losers he’s surrounded himself with. Can’t wait. Also, GH dresses well. We’re still a clothing blog, after all!
ENEMY OF THE WEEK
Sacai x Carhartt
This shit has been unavoidable if you spend any amount of time online for the past couple weeks. Every fucking “streetwear” account is posting the lookbook, collection laydown, and shots of Hova and other “cool celebrities” rocking the exciting new collab. YAWN! Yeah, its well executed, but can we not act like it’s groundbreaking? It’s a solid collab between two brands that have already done it twice before. That’s truly all it is. We’re really running into a future where nothing can stand on its own merit and everything must be the product of a collaboration turbocharged by The Algorithm. Buy it or don’t, just remember that nobody will give a shit either way.
You’re now up to speed on the latest from the battlefield. Use this intel wisely and pass it on to others who may need our guidance. We can’t win the war unless we’re in it together.