Get Dressed to go to WAR !!!!!!!
Wasted so much time stuntin' for folk (Wasted so much time!) / When really the whole time, I was stuntin' my growth (Can't get that back!)
This week is for The Real Ballers - high ticket items from far away makers MAN-TLE and BEAMS Plus are not for the weak. Not to worry, we also bring you a Cracking Cap from the devious minds at Tenant that fits in any budget. We also touch on the Constitution and a massive fucking dweeb named Curtis.
TUESDAY MEANS WAR
TACTICAL UPDATES
HEADWEAR
“6th Sense” Anniversary Hat by Tenant
“I see dead people!” No, we’re not talking about the current state of the skateboarding industry, we’re talking about the BARNBURNER 6th anniversary cap from Brooklyn’s Finest, Tenant. They mark the passing of each year with an absolute heater for your dome, sticking with snapbacks made by Ebbets in quintessential ballcap fit and a satin green underbrim to set it off. This year, in honor of number 6, they bootlegged the iconic Bruce WIllis/Haley Joel Osment thriller that hooked the world on M. Night Shyamalan and his patented twists, The Sixth Sense. They usually keep it simple, pairing the front graphic with a small apple logo on the back that signifies the anniversary year. It would be easy to get carried away when you’re celebrating your success, but Tenant keeps it lowkey as they continue their run as the Coolest Shop in NY™. And they just took home the award for Hat of the Year for the 6th year running.
UPPER UNIFORM
R19S1 New Shirt 1 by MAN-TLE
We thought MAN-TLE was from Japan. Stunning textiles, Big fits, interesting detailing, MAN-TLE has all the hallmarks! Turns out MAN-TLE is an Australian operation, unsurprising given the Rise of The Aussies in the global Fashion game over the last decade or so. But we were at least partially correct, as MAN-TLE describes themselves as “specialising in the production of textiles, garments, accessories and objects with expert Japanese manufacturers.” Thankful that our eyes were not deceiving us, we’ve been smitten with their sumptuous textiles like garment dyed parachute cloth, crinkly nylon, and water-repellent gabardine. The new season brings us a lovely new one, MT-Wax, as they tell it, “100% cotton with a paraffin wax coating. Yarn spun and dyed in Japan using cotton grown in Australia and the USA. Woven in Shizouka, then coated and baked in paraffin wax in Fukui. This original MAN–TLE cloth, MT-Wax, is designed to reveal new sound, colour, and texture over time. At first heavyweight and naturally stiff, it softens, fades, and changes form with washing and wear, becoming personal to the body it covers. Woven for MAN–TLE in Shizuoka, Japan.” They’ve used it across the season on multiple styles of cap, shirt, and pants, providing an option for nearly anyone who wants to stunt. We recommend taking a head-to-toe look to The Streets. More wear means more personality and more You coming through. Fit up and fuck that Shit up!
LOWER UNIFORM
MIL Over 6 Pockets Pant by BEAMS Plus
Listen, we will not claim to know much about these. Yet to be released by BEAMS America, we’re relying on the sparse details from the Beams Japan site, which is little to none. They’re big. They’re made from jacquard knit. They’re offered in an animal print camo pattern. BEAMS are synonymous with quality and Bangingness, so there’s really no reason to think these pants won’t Bang as well. They’ll likely hit the US webstore in the coming months, but Brave Soldiers must take risks sometimes in order to further their Fight. Who cares what the exchange rate is, or the customs fees you’ll pay, or the fact you’ll need a proxy service to buy them. The world is collapsing around us at a pace we’ll probably never truly comprehend, buy some Dope Pants!
FIELD NOTES
SOLDIER OF THE WEEK
Jimmy Kimmel
The First Amendment was first because it was the most important one. The Government cannot silence all of us. Stand up, speak up. Do not censor yourself and do not let them control your voice.
ENEMY OF THE WEEK
Curtis Yarvin
Curtis Yarvin, the self-styled “Philosopher Behind JD Vance” who professes a profound love of racism, sexism, fascism, anti-intellectualism, and a dystopian future where he and the other Nerds rule over all of us dumb normies that don’t know computers or whatever. The Apex Redditor certainly dresses the part, sporting the quintessentially dweeby costume of Shitty hair, motorcycle jackets, and wire frame dork goggles. We’ve never seen the footwork but we can assume. Perhaps the most nefarious mind behind the Trump Regime, Yarvin supports a return to Monarchy and Feudalism in the United States of America, where Trump (and soon Vance) rule through Executive Order and Singular Rule, and state power is replaced by Oligarchy - where Meta, Google, Microsoft, OpenAI, Oracle, and the rest formalize a societal structure that’s already informally been in place for decades. Your rights only go as far as your employer allows. What’s clear from living through a real life reboot of Revenge of the Nerd is that the Nerds are angry and looking for retribution. The precursor to the Incel movement, Yarvin deeply wants to subjugate the jocks and liberals that correctly bullied him in high school. Like many arrogant pricks of our youth, he’s imbued with a strange sense of superiority and lived a life wondering why nobody recognized it. Somewhere along the way he touched a nerve with all the other Loser who grew up similarly (Thiel, Zuckerberg, Musk, Altman, et al). The Billionaires are deadset on enslaving us to build datacenters and AI ourselves into irrelevance, and Yarvin wrote the blueprint. We gotta Bully these pieces of shit a hell of a lot more.
You’re now up to speed on the latest from the battlefield. Use this intel wisely and pass it on to others who may need our guidance. We can’t win the war unless we’re in it together.