If A Man Tre Flips El Toro In Lakais in 2025, Does It Make A Sound?
The Curious Case of Chris Joslin
He did it! Who actually cares? What’s the value of an NBD in 2025? What does Skater of the Year represent?
💥IT’S A SPECIAL SOTY EDITION OF THE WAR REPORT💥
“I FUCKING TRE FLIPPED EL TORO”
The footage finally dropped and the world got to see Chris Joslin 360 flip El Toro. What followed has been a fascinating display of one of the very many chasms that exist in skateboarding. Some immediately called for Thrasher to crown him SOTY, having done something never before accomplished and something many thought could never be done. Others gave it one of these and proceeded to skewer everything about the accompanying part that featured a little under 3 minutes of footage and nearly 2 minutes of celebrations, reactions, and lots of b-roll highlighting the fact that he is a father. All of this is set to the classic Ozzy Osbourne track Mama, I’m Coming Home and presented by Plan B, Rockstar, and Lakai.
G-Ma is so painfully out of touch with the state of skateboarding in 2025, an era filled with illegal tricks and melancholy music where nothing is too serious and fun is most important. His All Hammer part is straight from a bygone time when everyone was looking for the biggest rail or stairset to one up the other guy, the music was Epic, and the vibes were really bad. Those skaters maniacally chased NBDs and generally seemed miserable doing it.
Joslin kind of reminds us of Austin Powers, unfrozen into a world totally foreign to him but refusing to modernize. Where The International Man of Mystery’s clinging to the past was endearing and funny, Joslin is depressing like one of those dudes you see in the wild who’s still rocking some puffy DVS and a Metal Mulisha tee. Sure, you laugh at first, but then you think about how that guy might have ended up in that outfit in 2025 and get pretty bummed out. Joslin’s kits aren’t far from this style, rocking flat bill hats and a goatee that looks a little too “put your mouth on the curb” when he rips off his shirt to flex all those muscles.
Has Joslin watched any #content in the last 5 years, or does he really just go out and hunt hammers when he’s not getting jacked or competing at Street League? Does he know he got kicked off Etnies because they’re trying to be cool and relevant and he’s neither? It’s like he parachuted into 2025 straight from his 2014 debut, unaware of skateboarding’s metamorphosis in the ensuing years. He’s a caricature down to his laughable list of sponsors: Lakai (stolen from the founders by a venture capitalist, whole team kicked off to focus on moving units through Amazon, then the skate program revived by a Youtuber), Rockstar Energy (the worst energy drink sponsor), and Plan B Skateboards (lol).
People have been saying there are two Americas, and we contend that there’s gotta be at least 4 skateboardings. The Joslin response highlights two of them: Tapped In Tastemakers and I Used To Skaters. The latter doesn’t only include folks who loudly proclaim that they used to skate and haven’t stepped foot on a board (or opened an issue of Thrasher) in a decade or more. In the same class are the hordes of dudes at every local skatepark with those same sensibilities (read: lack of taste), the locs that #skateeverydamnday and lose their mind over coworker tricks. The puzzling fellas who have zero awareness of any current skate culture but they won’t hesitate to pull out their phone and show you an Andy Anderson clip at a moment’s notice. Both sets share a fundamental lack of cool and hoot and holler about a triple flip clip.
The Tapped In Tastemakers lambasted Joslin’s post-tre celebration, while the I Used To Skaters responded with stuff like “I’d like to see YOU tre flip El Toro!” TWR backs some tooting of your own horn when you put down something you’re proud of, but his celebration was hilariously cringe. No, we’ve never tre flipped El Toro (or even tre flipped!), but we know we would not say “I fucking tre flipped El Toro” and take our shirt off and flex our muscles (we don’t have any!). Next, his children rushed in to hug their father like a returning war hero. A moment that could’ve been heartwarming instead felt like it was Made For TV, especially after the intro clip showing him warming up for the trick by performing pushups with the kids on his back. The wannabe Joslin Family Vloggers appear to be seeking virality with them, begging for his crowning achievement to be picked up by some Facebook aggregator page called “Heartwarming Human Moments2.” We love kids, but we think you should leave them at home when you’re attempting something that could go horribly wrong and scar them for life. If you insist on bringing them, keep them out of your footage (unless they do something tight)!
The homies on Mostly Skate debated this year’s SOTY, and contended that the award should be representative of skateboarding in the year it’s handed out. We agree wholeheartedly, because what does Skater of the Year mean if that skater is completely divorced from the beating heart of skateboarding culture? Rusty has always been awarded on vibes, especially when it was given by The Phelper (RIP), and not minutes of footage or contest wins or NBDs. The Skaterati has certainly zoned in on their top two for 2025 - Antonio Durao and Tom Scharr. Both are pushing the bounds of what’s possible on a skateboard, Tony D with his insane switch prowess and galaxy-brained one-foots and Schaar dragging the entire Vert discipline back into the Skategeist thanks to tricks never thought possible on vert and mega ramps with the casualness one skates a mini ramp. Both are displaying levels of creativity that can only be borne out of total mastery of their craft. Both are innately cool. Both are having fun. Both are worthy of the crown. Chris Joslin is not.
Now, enjoy a selection of the best tweets from the past few days. Shout out #skatetwitter forever. We’re going down with the ship.
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You’re now up to speed on the latest from the battlefield. Use this intel wisely and pass it on to others who may need our guidance. We can’t win the war unless we’re in it together.
didn’t know gifted hater is a writer now. seriously funny shit.
thanks for your servic 🫡
I'm gonna say something here and fully accept that it's gonna sound odd...that second angle in the Shiloh tweet made it look not as big as it is. Like, I see that and I'm like "there's probably at least 20 pros RAT now that could do this and just don't because who cares?"