🫡SOLDIERS of the WEEK🫡
The Realest of the Real
This year we’re taking a more comprehensive look at the Soldiers that are Really Stunting each week, highlighting a bunch of Real Ones rather than singling anyone out. To be honest, there’s too much good stuff happening every week to only pick one! Salute to all the commandos putting in work with Fits, Vibrations, Vulnerability, Authenticity, and Outspokenness 🫡
SOLDIERS of the WEEK
Tanner Burzinski
One of WKND’s newest pros kicked off the year with a Shake Junt part full of Good Ass Vibes and Crazy Ass Combos. Tanner Burzinski took to the ledges in signature steez, filling the clips with terrific fits and luscious locks to go along with smooth this-to-that combinations straight out of THPS. It’s really a revelation of a part as only Beagle can provide, 2 minutes of styling set to a flip of Trick Daddy’s classic “Take It to da House” by some young whippersnapper we’ve never heard of by the moniker Luh Tyler! It’s the perfect amuse bouche to set off a year that hopefully includes a lot less Ozzy Osbourne and El Toro and a lot more Swag and Steez!
Adam Friedland
Friedland was on fire in 2024, interviewing everyone from Anthony Weiner to Zohran Mamdani. His talk show spans the entire universe of popular culture, hosting actors, politicians, porn stars, athletes, and Amanda Knox. He specializes in trolling his guests, some recognizing it and some not, but some of his best work is when he’s genuine with his guests. His show with Braindead Richie Torres was an excellent look at soulless politicians in today’s climate, and his interview with Kevin O’Leary ended up with pull-quotes all over the internet as Mr. Wonderful gave great insight into his surprising pivot to acting and the Real Shit that goes on behind the scenes. One of our favorites was the episode with Dwight Schrute, where his relentless unseriousness pushed the “please take me seriously as a person” MotherFucker to lose his Shit multiple times and put his full Asshole self on display for the world. Keep up the good work.
Macclesfield FC
The FA Cup is the best competition in sports. Particularly in the earlier rounds, there’s incredible energy and possibility where tiny no-name clubs battle European giants and the NFL’s “Any Given Sunday” truly applies to The Real Football. The Magic of the Cup came to life this past week, as non-league Macclesfield FC took down reigning FA Cup holders Crystal Palace in an upset for the ages. Macclesfield FC have only been operating since 2020, founded in the wake of the demise of Macclesfield Town following financial mismanagement and liquidation (i.e. bankruptcy). They currently play in National League North, meaning they’re 5 divisions below Premier League Palace and 117 places in the table at the time of the match. To put it in an American perspective, that would be like an MLB team losing to a team from Rookie ball (kinda sorta, don’t freak out on us, this is an equivalent that we simply don’t have in this country). Crystal Palace are the first defending champions to lose against a non-league side since 1909. Next up for the mighty Silkmen are Brentford, sitting 5th in the Premier League. Can they do it again? Anything can happen in the FA Cup!
Jacob Frey
His city is under attack from all angles by the Trump Regime, whether it’s ICE agents murdering his citizens or baseless allegations of fraud coming from a (potentially) disabled Youtuber. We applaud Jacob Frey’s colorful language in the wake of Renee Good’s murder last week, because it’s high time to stop pretending like any of this Shit is normal and the spineless rhetoric of national Democrats does nothing but continue to enable this Fascist takeover of our country. The people up in arms about the words Fuck and BullShit are the same ones applauding as the Vice President says them and the President flips the bird to a union auto worker. They hoot and holler when the Secretary of Defense tells other nations to, “FAFO” or, once again, the President says “Fuck around” in a press conference. Fuck Hypocrisy, Fuck ICE, Fuck Trump.
TJ Sabula
Michigan autoworker TJ Sabula exercised his right to free speech when he shouted “pedophile protector” at Fuhrer Trump during a propaganda stop at a Ford plant this week. Trump responded by mouthing “fuck you” and flipping him off, a sure sign that the remark got under his skin as he continues to protect the pedophiles contained in the Epstein Files. Sabula was suspended from work after the incident, which led to popular support and a lucrative GoFundMe and an interview in Jeff Bezos’s paper The Washington Post. Showing poise and gumption in the face of pressure, Sabula said, “I don’t feel as though fate looks upon you often, and when it does, you better be ready to seize the opportunity. And today I think I did that.” It’s not hard to break the spirit of the ultimate snowflakes! Keep hating, clowning, trolling, heckling, and insulting the pieces of Shit. They can’t handle it and will eventually fall apart. Real Soldiers Do Real Things.
Caleb Williams
The Bears took a lot of heat when they drafted Heisman winner Caleb WIlliams with the first pick in 2024. He has always had an interesting mix of champions and detractors, as much for his play on the field as for his personality off of it. He drew derisive comparisons to gamer Kyler Murray, but also positive ones to Super Bowl champion Russell Wilson. Williams took it all in stride and let his game talk, setting all sorts of Bears rookie records and an NFL-best streak of 354 passes without an interception. He came into 2025 with That Same Energy, and broke the franchise single-season passing record en route to winning the NFC North and the Bears first playoff appearance since 2020. Never one to shy away from The Moment, he oversaw a historic comeback win over bitter rival Green Bay in the first round of the playoffs, coming back to win 31–27 after starting the 4th quarter down 21–6 at the start of the fourth quarter. This was the Bears first playoff win since 2010, and no doubt helped Shut The Haters The Fuck Up. Go Bears (until they play the Seahawks).
You’re now up to speed on the latest from the battlefield. Use this intel wisely and pass it on to others who may need our guidance. We can’t win the war unless we’re in it together.