The War Report’s “Real Patriot Shit” Independence Day American Garment Extravaganza For Regalia Revolutionaries
THE WAR REPORT
The War Report recommends buying the Freshest Shit regardless of country of origin. The War Effort crosses all borders and The Brigade spans globe. That said, the birth of a nation is as good a time as any to highlight just a few of the many American Manufacturers of Banging Garms. Support your local!
TACTICAL UPDATES
HEADWEAR
Blue Owl Baseball Cap by Ebbets Field Flannels
What better way to celebrate America than a made in USA cap inspired by “America’s Pastime”? Ebbets Field Flannels sets the standard for methodically reproduced baseball caps and jerseys from all eras. After making a name in that lane, they branched out into more sports and fashion. The Heaviest Hitters go to Ebbets when they really want to set off a cap. This version, done in collaboration with Seattle farm seller Blue Owl Workshop, is done up in a classic 90s baseball cap wool, green satin under brim, and Ebbets’ signature brown leather strap closure. A glance at Ebbets’ site shows they are now producing garms in Canada and China in addition to here at home. Make sure to check that tag if you wanna see that flag.
OUTERWEAR
Down Hoodie in Windthrow Check by Crescent Down Works
This is one to keep in mind for winter (if it’s still around). Crescent Down Works is a family-run manufacturer of The Highest Fucking Quality down outerwear since 1974, and it’s all made in Seattle (our former homebase). Windthrow opened it’s doors just two years ago and quickly became The destination for Good Outdoor Shit (to be used for looking good indoors as well). A Legendary Linkup by every measure! They worked up a Perfectly Puffy down hoodie with a two-way zipper (underrated feature) and a classic-but-not-goofy plaid fabric. Crafted by and from Rain City so you know it’s built to last.
UPPER UNIFORM
Max-Weight Heavyweight T-Shirt by Camber
Accept no substitutes. Camber is the best of the best. Hard and Heavy clothes for the most rugged missions. 8 ounces of 100% cotton feels like chainmail that can’t be penetrated when you’re moving through the streets. It’s reinforced in all the major wear areas and comes in 11 colors. There’s also long sleeve and pocket varieties. The only American Made t-shirt that matters.
LOWER UNIFORM
Made in USA Core Sweatpant by New Balance
HEAVYweight French terry. The Good Shit. Contrast drawstring. Another one to keep in mind for the Cozy Seasons.
FOOTWEAR
Non-GMO Sock by Pearl
A perfect-fitting tube sock knitted in Atlanta - the home of some of America’s Premier Poets. Pops of color at the toe and heel with a signature Pearl apple, a nod to their Seattle home.
FIELD NOTES
SOLDIER OF THE WEEK
Yeah, Obama freaked a suit. Top 2 in the best dressed rankings but he ain’t Top Dawg. That’s JFK. Whether he was All Business in the Oval Office or Chilling on sailboats, the man had style and taste coursing through his veins. He also exemplified many virtues of a Real Soldier and fought to make this country better for everyone. No wonder they got him.
ENEMY OF THE WEEK
The Worst Dressed President. His suits scream “CHEAP” and fit like Shit. The lifts in his shoes cause him to lurch forward awkwardly. When he’s golfing it gets worse in so many ways. White polos that do nothing to help his upper body made worse with pants pulled up too high and cinched too tight. And the hats are just an embarrassment. He is the diametrically opposite of a Real Soldier (Real Idiot) so it’s no surprise that he dressed accordingly.
You’re now up to speed on the latest from the battlefield. Use this intel wisely and pass it on to others who may need our guidance. We can’t win the war unless we’re in it together.