Short Suits are for Losers
Hell is worth all that, natural habitat / Just a rhyme without a reason / Never-ending maze, drift on numbered days / Now your life is out of season
A couple of Real OGs and a Bay Area brand highlight this week’s clothing updates: Heavyweight Shit from Champion, GX1000, and Merrell will keep you covered in the elements. Elsewhere, Pablo Torre dresses great and takes down the Clippers while Travis Kelce dresses like a schoolboy and loses to the Eagles.
TUESDAY MEANS WAR
TACTICAL UPDATES
UPPER UNIFORM
Reverse Weave Hoodie by Champion
The nip has returned to the air in a lot of parts of the country, although our home base of Portland remains warm and humid at an unseasonable level for this point in September. Luckily the mornings have a signature Fall chill and it’s time to break out the hoodies on a regular basis (read: daily) for the foreseeable future. You likely have a locker full of sick ass Graphic Hoodies supporting your favorite team or brand or clever slogan. It’s probably time for a refresh, but there are so many hoodies in the marketplace now that it’s hard to choose the right one. In many ways it’s hard to go wrong, as every Clothier worth their salt produces a Nice Hoodie with or without branding. It’s also easy to fall prey to the Algorithm, introducing you to DTC brands specializing in Elevated Basics and even the rebirth of Elwood (the fuck?). Thankfully, your friends at The War Report are here to help you sort through the clutter and provide you with Bang for your Buck as we’re periodically known to do. In the end, as with most Great Garms, the OG is still around and holding it down for a god damn reason: they’re the Undisputed Heavyweight (Reverse Weave) Champion of the Sweatshirt. They invented the hoodie and it really hasn’t been beaten since - these babies have a perfect fit, ribbed at the sides for freedom of movement and crafted with a touch of polyester to maintain this lovely fit through countless trips through the washer and dryer. You can hunt around and find this jawn in nearly any color you want, and we recommend doing so because the current price is less than half that of Your Favorite Fashion Brand’s Hooded Sweatshirt. Stock up, customize the blank canvas, punish them in the field, and toss em in the washer and dryer to be good as new. The Champ(ion) is here? The Champ(ion) never left!
LOWER UNIFORM
Baggy Pant by GX1000
These maniacs blasted on the scene with anxiety-inducing hillbombs down the streets of San Francisco. The crew of bombers grew into a Skateboard Company, but the star of their show has always been the garms. TWR has been consistently impressed with the GX apparel line right from the jump. We see their iconic t-shirt and hoodie graphics all over the Streets, but the cut-and-sew program should not be missed. Each piece is made of sturdy construction with beefy materials, critical protection against road rash and beer spills and anything else a downhill lunatic might encounter. Each GX garm is Ruggedly Tasteful - hard wearing clothes that are aggressive in the most subtle ways. Tiger camo is offered in a yellow tint that takes a Skateboarding Standard and pushes it down hill the GX way. They also have the traditional tiger camo for Soldiers who err more traditional, an encapsulation of the GX1000 crew overall. Some traditionalists, some innovationists, everyone coming together to Make Good Shit and Have Fun with the Homies. It’s what life’s about, and we’re stoked that GX1000 can show us the light.
FOOTWEAR
Wilderness SE by Merrell 1TRL
We’ve sung the praises of Merrell 1TRL more than once on TWR, so we’ll keep this short: every brand makes a nice classic hiker, and this one is a Very Nice one. In fact, this is the very first boot we got from one of the greatest outdoor manufacturers. Decades later and it’s still stomping through trails but now it’s also a staple of the city. Luscious hairy suede and full grain leather accents lend these That Fashion Look, but at the end of the day they’re still a blacked out Hiking Boot that’s ready to get into Some Shit. Lace up and get out there!
FIELD NOTES
SOLDIER OF THE WEEK
Pablo Torre
Pablo Torre has been Finding Shit Out for a while. He combines in-depth investigative journalism with an entertaining format and a relentless twitter presence to be one of The Realest Ones Out (TROO™). The saga of Kawhi Leonard’s sponsorship deal with a company called Aspiration (who?) has been a fascinating watch. Pablo and his team have the documents and the inside sources that reveal a massive fraud scheme set up to get Kawhi Leonard an extra $48 million (and counting!) outside of his formal contact with the Clippers. Folks, this is circumvention of the NBA salary cap of the highest order, and in any other era we’d already have seen Steve Ballmer jettisoned from the ownership ranks just like his predecessor. Yet pretty much anyone with any stake in the game is in full denial mode. The PTFO/Aspiration saga has illuminated one of the most terrifying aspects of our current times: facts and evidence no longer really matter. In nearly every facet of modern life, the Donald Trump strategy of denying a problem until it goes away has become the norm even when every unbiased party can see the truth. The entire national sports media has sided with Ballmer and the Clippers, offering softball interviews and repeating official statements. A microcosm of the world today, we’re seeing sports infected with billionaire meddling, intrepid journalism uncovering the truth, and the full weight of The Infrastructure shifting into “DENY DENY DENY” mode. Mark Cuban is destroying his legacy by personally simping for fellow billionaire Ballmer, with his argument essentially amounting to “Steve Ballmer was conned.” The same line Ballmer and the Clippers are using, implying one of the world’s richest and most successful men is a hapless buffoon taken advantage of by some cunning fraudsters. In fact, they think we’re the hapless buffoons to believe it! And many fall for it hook, line, and sinker. We are thankful for Pablo, his whole team, and journalists all around the world that continue to push and press and hold the powerful accountable. Plus, Pablo Puts That Shit On. Hell yeah, Pablo!
ENEMY OF THE WEEK
Travis Kelce
He’s baaaaaaaack! Just a few weeks ago, coincidentally the same day he pooped the question to Taylor Swift, we named Travis Kelce our EOTW for his new stylist and rejection of his true style. We really didn’t want to have to do this so soon, but Killa Trav is back in the spotlight thanks to another Crime Against Stunting. Kelce pulled up to this week’s Super Bowl rematch looking ready for business in a sharp seersucker suit. Unfortunately, he looked more like a British schoolboy on his way to primary school than an intimidating Pro Bowl tight end. The reference was likely a truly Legendary tunnel fit before Tunnel Fits were a thing - Lebron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers in Thom Browne short suits. While we live in an era of condensed fashion cycles, under 10 years is a little tight of a window to pay tribute to an iconic look. Much like Lebron’s Cavs, Travis’s Chiefs took the loss with a short suit in the locker room. Lest we dwell on the negative, Killa Trav certainly added his own flair with the shades, some gold wireframes with purple lenses that would’ve looked great on a character from Malibu’s Most Wanted. Let it all out, Killa!
You’re now up to speed on the latest from the battlefield. Use this intel wisely and pass it on to others who may need our guidance. We can’t win the war unless we’re in it together.